MAY 29, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Maoist Student Riots in Paris Escalate. Impact: The violent protests in Paris inadvertently led to a global surge in student activism, inspiring the phrase 'if you can't beat them, throw bricks' in university curricula worldwide.. Fact: Did you know that throwing bricks is considered a form of performance art in certain avant-garde circles? Just kidding, it's still illegal..
• Headline: Gould Warns of Threats to Universities. Impact: Gould's warning about the assault on reason led to a national trend of 'alternative facts,' paving the way for social media influencers with a PhD in nonsense.. Fact: Did you know that the breakdown of objective inquiry is just a fancy way of saying 'everyone's got an opinion, and they're all wrong'?.
• Headline: Advertising: Corporate Communication. Impact: The rise of corporate communication marked the beginning of an era where companies began to speak like humans... and then quickly forgot how.. Fact: Did you know that 'corporate communication' is just code for 'let's make jargon so confusing that no one knows what we're talking about'?.
• Headline: Laboratory‐Produced Diamond Of Gem Quality Made by G.E.. Impact: GE's diamond production revolutionized the jewelry industry, giving rise to the saying 'a lab-grown diamond is a girl's best friend'—right before the diamond industry cried foul.. Fact: Fun fact: These lab-grown diamonds are so good that they make natural diamonds feel a bit insecure about their existence..
• Headline: LEFTISTS SWEEP CEYLON ELECTION. Impact: The leftist victory in Ceylon led to a series of political shifts, ultimately resulting in the world's longest game of musical chairs with political parties.. Fact: Did you know that political parties in Ceylon were known for their graceful exits, just like dancers at a ball—except with more shouting?.
• Headline: At 65, He Turns to Hippie Fashions. Impact: Geronimo's fashion comeback sparked a trend in elderly men dressing like rebellious teenagers, causing a nationwide identity crisis for both groups.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'hippie chic' was coined shortly after this article, just before it was deemed a fashion disaster by everyone involved?.
• Headline: Festival at I.S. 201 Offers Masks, Films and Beliefs. Impact: The festival at I.S. 201 started a cultural renaissance, leading to the modern appreciation of diversity—although some still think 'cultural backgrounds' are just fancy wallpaper.. Fact: Fun fact: Celebrating cultural backgrounds is now an Olympic sport, with judges scoring on creativity and how well you can avoid cultural appropriation..
• Headline: Stans Expecting a Move By Japan on Textile Talks. Impact: Stans' expectations of Japan led to endless diplomatic negotiations, creating a subgenre of sitcoms about awkward meetings and miscommunication.. Fact: Did you know that textile talks were so riveting that they almost got their own reality show? Spoiler alert: everyone wore boring suits..