MARCH 16, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Arms Laotian Forces with M-16 Rifles. Impact: The U.S. providing M-16 rifles to Laos created a chain reaction in the arms race in Southeast Asia, ultimately leading to a global fascination with stylish military gear. Today, fashionistas around the world are still debating whether camo is a timeless look or just a bad trip down history’s memory lane.. Fact: Did you know that the M-16 was originally designed to be lightweight and easy to carry? Kind of like how the U.S. tried to carry the hopes of democracy on the backs of Laotian soldiers..
• Headline: Tragic Fire Claims Lives of Three Children. Impact: The tragic fire that claimed the lives of three American children in Tokyo led to a heightened awareness of fire safety regulations worldwide. Ironically, this also sparked a trend in overzealous fire drills in schools that still haunt kids today, making them question why they even bother learning math.. Fact: Fire safety education was practically nonexistent back in the day, which is why you probably can't find a single meme about kids and fire drills from the 70s—only about how to survive a zombie apocalypse instead..
• Headline: Innovative All-Walking Dance Revolution. Impact: Paxton's all-walking dance revolutionized performance art, making everyone realize that sitting down is for the weak. As a result, countless people now feel guilty about their couch potato habits, leading to an uptick in overpriced yoga mats.. Fact: Fun fact: Paxton’s dance was so groundbreaking that it made even the most seasoned dancers question their life choices—like why they didn't just take up knitting instead..
• Headline: Education Board May Seek Changes in the, Decentralization Law This Week. Impact: The Education Board’s quest for decentralization led to a bureaucratic nightmare that inspired generations of government employees to create more paperwork than actual solutions. This inefficiency is now a staple in every office across America.. Fact: Decentralization laws are like diet plans: everyone talks about them, but very few actually stick to them. Just wait until they try to decentralize pizza delivery!.
• Headline: TALKS ON TROOPS SET IN CAMBODIA. Impact: Talks on troop movements in Cambodia might have been the precursor to a slew of misunderstandings in international relations, causing future diplomats to take up interpretive dance to express their frustrations instead.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than troop movements in Cambodia is explaining to your grandparents what 'geo-political tensions' even means..
• Headline: ELECTRONIC MUSIC AVOIDS THE USUAL. Impact: The rise of electronic music not only avoided the usual but also paved the way for countless 'experimental' genres that leave listeners wondering if they accidentally tuned into a blender instead of a concert.. Fact: Electronic music was initially met with skepticism, as many thought it was just a group of musicians who couldn’t figure out how to play a real instrument. Spoiler alert: they were right..
• Headline: Expo '70: Facts and Figures. Impact: Expo '70’s boring facts and figures may have inspired generations of people to avoid math like the plague, leading to a future where people believe anything over five is 'a lot.'. Fact: The only thing more exciting than the facts and figures at Expo '70 was watching paint dry—at least the paint had a chance of getting a good review..
• Headline: 20 Arraigned in Nassau On Policy Game Charges. Impact: The arraignment of 20 individuals on policy game charges is just a reminder that organized crime has always been a 'team sport.' This eventually led to the rise of fantasy sports leagues—because if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them in a digital arena.. Fact: Cuban policy games were so popular that they might as well have been the first reality TV show, with all the drama and none of the Kardashians..
• Headline: Israelis Shell Syrian Camp 20 Miles Past Damascus. Impact: Israel's aggressive actions into Syria paved the way for a never-ending cycle of military confrontations, ultimately leading to a world where the phrase 'peace talks' became synonymous with 'bring snacks, it’s going to be a long one.'. Fact: Israel's commando units probably had more action figures made about them than any superhero. Just think of how many kids grew up wanting to play ‘Army’ instead of ‘Doctor’—the irony is delicious..