MARCH 2, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Democratic Leadership Dispute Escalates. Impact: This heated committee fight over party leadership led to a series of backdoor deals and secret meetings that eventually resulted in a 'secret handshake' that would be the basis for future political intrigue. Who knew a spat over a chair could lead to the next Watergate?. Fact: Did you know that political committee meetings are just like family dinners? Lots of shouting, a few tears, and someone inevitably storming out..
• Headline: Support for U.M.W. Reform Movement Grows. Impact: Rockefeller's support for the reform movement ignited a spark that eventually led to the modern labor rights movement. Who knew a little backing could turn into a full-blown labor revolution?. Fact: Fun fact: The U.M.W. stands for 'United Mine Workers'—a name that sounds far more appealing than 'Those Who Dig Deep Holes for a Living.'.
• Headline: U.S. Officers Avoid Controversy In Murder Charge Against Five. Impact: The U.S. officers' attempt to avoid controversy would set a precedent for future military and media relations, leading to a very special relationship with the phrase 'No comment'—a favorite in both politics and law enforcement.. Fact: Did you know that avoiding controversy is like trying to avoid a rainstorm in a leaky boat? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work..
• Headline: Burch Calls Reporters' Notes ‘Sacred’. Impact: Burch's declaration of reporters' notes as 'sacred' transformed journalism into a battle of wills, leading to a century of journalists trying to protect their secrets while posting their lives on social media.. Fact: Fun fact: Calling something 'sacred' is just a fancy way of saying, 'I don't want you to touch it.'.
• Headline: LAOTIAN PROTESTS TO BRITAIN, SOVIET. Impact: The Laotian protests led to an increased interest in international diplomacy, although the only thing that really changed was the number of diplomats who learned how to gracefully dodge questions.. Fact: Did you know that 'diplomatic protest' is just a fancy term for waving your arms and shouting, 'Hey, that's not fair!'?.
• Headline: Mrs. Dayan to Speak at U.J.A. Luncheon March. Impact: Mrs. Dayan's speech at the luncheon influenced a generation of women to speak up and demand to be heard—especially at luncheons, where the salad dressing is often more controversial than the actual topics.. Fact: Fun fact: Luncheons are just dinner parties that are too polite to ask for a full meal..
• Headline: Mrs. Nixon to Begin Tour. Impact: Mrs. Nixon's tour inspired a wave of political spouses to undertake their own tours, leading to a long tradition of First Ladies being treated like rock stars—minus the actual talent.. Fact: Did you know that political tours are just long walks through awkward small talk? And everyone is just waiting for someone to ask about the weather..