OCTOBER 11, 1969

Full News Archive

• Headline: Frisco Line Leadership Changes. Impact: Grayson being elected as chief exec officer led to a series of corporate decisions that ultimately resulted in the invention of the fidget spinner. You're welcome, 21st century.. Fact: In the corporate world, the term 'executive officer' often means 'person who gets to make the coffee runs.'.
• Headline: Fraud Allegations in Missile Service Claims. Impact: The fraud case against the Dornaus ignited a nationwide obsession with missile-themed board games, leading to the invention of 'Missile Command: The Real Estate Edition.'. Fact: The only thing more explosive than missile containers is the paperwork that goes with them..
• Headline: Romantic Sculptures by Jose de Rivera. Impact: Jose de Rivera's romantic sculptures inspired a generation of confused artists who thought love could be represented in twisted metal and stone. Spoiler: it can’t.. Fact: Art critics still debate whether a romantic sculpture is about love or just an elaborate way to avoid talking about their feelings..
• Headline: SENATE UNIT BARS CUT IN TOP TAXES ON EARNED INCOME; Committee Rejects Effort, Backed by Administration, to Fix Maximum at 50% HOUSE HAD APPROVED IT Longer Capital Gains Period and End to Deduction on Gas Levies Defeated Senate Committee Rejects Cut In Top Taxes on Earned Income. Impact: The Senate's rejection of tax cuts on earned income led to an era of 'creative accounting,' where people claimed their pets as dependents. Thanks for the loophole, guys!. Fact: The only thing more complicated than tax codes is trying to explain them to a toddler..
• Headline: Document Shows How Navy Lobbied for Vessels. Impact: The Navy's lobbying tactics were so effective that they inadvertently inspired the creation of the first military-themed reality TV show, 'America's Next Top Admiral.'. Fact: Lobbying is just another word for 'really persistent friendship.'.
• Headline: Smith Fights Plan for Tolls On Free Access Into City. Impact: Smith's fight against tolls sparked a city-wide rebellion, resulting in the infamous 'Toll-Free Movement,' which ironically led to more tolls everywhere else.. Fact: Imposing tolls is just a subtle way of saying, 'Hey, we need more money for potholes!'.
• Headline: Strike at Hotels Ends. Impact: The end of the hotel strike led to the establishment of 'International Hotel Workers Day,' celebrated by sleeping in and avoiding overpriced mini-bars.. Fact: A $18 raise might not seem like much, but it’s the difference between eating ramen or instant noodles for dinner..
• Headline: I.S. 201 NOMINATES ANARCHY SUSPECT; Negro Seized in RAM Case Offered Administrator Job I.S. 201 Names Anarchy Suspect for a School Post. Impact: I.S. 201's nomination of an anarchy suspect led to a nationwide trend of schools appointing questionable figures to teach about freedom, culminating in the infamous 'Freedom Fridays.'. Fact: Anarchy and education go together like oil and water—one is revolutionary, the other just gets messy..
• Headline: U. S. Bows to Mexican Demands; Drug Smuggling Drive Is Eased; U.S. TO EASE DRIVE ON ILLICIT DRUGS. Impact: The U.S. easing of drug smuggling drives triggered a series of 'how to smuggle' workshops that became the surprise hit of the 70s.. Fact: When it comes to smuggling, the real challenge is finding a good hiding spot that’s not already taken by your mother-in-law’s collection of porcelain cats..