AUGUST 8, 1969

Full News Archive

• Headline: Center Ballet of Buffalo Presents 'Les Biches'. Impact: If only the Center Ballet of Buffalo had known their dance performance would inspire a generation of interpretive dancers who would later confuse everyone at weddings, they might have reconsidered those two works by Nijinska.. Fact: Did you know that ‘Les Biches’ translates to ‘The Does’? So, not only was Buffalo dancing, but they were probably also auditioning for a wildlife documentary..
• Headline: Exploring Revolutionary Ideas and Voices. Impact: Ned O'Gorman's prophetic musings on revolution likely led to at least three awkward coffee shop conversations about the necessity of overthrowing the government while sipping overpriced lattes.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time a revolution was discussed over coffee, it ended with everyone just liking the status quo and switching to decaf..
• Headline: Moon Soil Investigation Reveals No Life. Impact: The lack of life on the moon led to a series of awkward conversations in bars across America where people argued about the definition of 'life' and if the moon was just playing hard to get.. Fact: Did you know that every time scientists say 'no signs of life,' a conspiracy theorist somewhere thinks it’s just a cover-up? Thanks, moon!.
• Headline: Russian, in Rumania, Hints Displeasure at Nixon Visit; Russian Hints Criticism of Nixon Visit. Impact: This hint of displeasure from Russia set off a chain reaction of international eye-rolling that continues to this day, influencing diplomatic relations and the amount of awkward handshakes at summits.. Fact: Did you know that hints of displeasure are the diplomatic equivalent of passive-aggressive notes? 'I’m not mad, just disappointed in your foreign policy.'.
• Headline: Senate Roll-Call Vote On ABM Amendment. Impact: The roll-call vote on the ABM amendment might have sparked an underground betting ring on how many politicians would actually read the amendment before voting on it.. Fact: Did you know that roll-call votes are like reality TV for political nerds? Everyone's just waiting to see who gets voted off the island..
• Headline: ALABAMA SCHOOLS GET A 1-YEAR DELAY. Impact: The one-year delay for Alabama schools likely opened the door for future generations to master the art of procrastination, making 'delaying desegregation' a topic for more than just textbooks.. Fact: Did you know that some schools have been on a modified freedom-of-choice plan since before your parents were in school? Talk about taking your time!.
• Headline: Some See Vote Spurring Arms Talks. Impact: Some believed the vote would spur arms talks, but it actually resulted in a lot of backroom deals and a lengthy game of Cold War Monopoly, where no one really advances.. Fact: Did you know that 'arms talks' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's sit down and try not to escalate this into nuclear tag'?.
• Headline: The Country Book and the City Book. Impact: The juxtaposition of rural and urban themes in literature led to the eventual rise of hipster cafes where people discuss deep philosophical questions while wearing flannel and sipping kombucha.. Fact: Did you know that the documentary novel genre is basically the great-great-grandparent of modern-day vlogs? Only less annoying and with fewer filters..
• Headline: A Voice for the Indian; Louis Rooks Bruce Jr.. Impact: Louis Rooks Bruce Jr.'s biography was likely the catalyst for a series of biographical documentaries that would later inspire people to live their lives like they were in a reality show.. Fact: Did you know that having a middle name like 'Rooks' is a surefire way to make you sound like a medieval knight? 'Sir Louis Rooks Bruce Jr., defender of the realm!'.