APRIL 29, 1969

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fulbright's Secret Hearing on Germ Warfare. Impact: The decision to discuss germ warfare in closed hearings led to a secret society of conspiracy theorists who believed that the US was developing zombies to take over the world. This ultimately caused a spike in zombie-themed movies in the 80s, giving rise to the modern horror genre.. Fact: Did you know that while germ warfare sounds terrifying, most of us still fear the common cold more than a bioengineered apocalypse? Ah, humanity..
• Headline: Rhodes Fund Manipulation Accusations. Impact: The charges against Rhodes sparked a wave of skepticism that led future politicians to be extra sneaky with their slush funds, resulting in an increase in tax evasion techniques that would put Houdini to shame.. Fact: Life Magazine isn't just a magazine; it’s a time capsule of scandalous revelations. Imagine if they had social media back then—#SlushFundScandal would have broken the internet..
• Headline: Corporation Aide Is Elected President of 92d St. YMHA. Impact: Ungerleider’s presidency at the YMHA led to an annual pancake breakfast that inadvertently popularized brunch culture, fostering a global obsession with avocado toast decades later.. Fact: YMHA stands for Young Men's Hebrew Association, but to be honest, it could easily stand for 'Yawn, More Happenings, Actually.'.
• Headline: Cornell's Stance and Future Are Debated Bitterly. Impact: The bitter debates over Cornell’s fate led to the establishment of debate clubs everywhere, ultimately resulting in a generation of students who could argue endlessly about the merits of avocado toast versus regular toast.. Fact: Cornell has had its fair share of debates. If only they had known that one day, students would debate whether pineapple belongs on pizza instead..
• Headline: ' The Spring Thing,' a Salute on N. B. C.. Impact: The 'Spring Thing' was so successful that it initiated a tradition of seasonal themed TV events, leading networks to air increasingly absurd holiday specials that culminated in 'National Pickle Day' episodes.. Fact: Turns out, 'The Spring Thing' didn’t even feature spring rolls. What a missed opportunity!.
• Headline: The Essence of Gaullism as Policy, in the Words of General de Gaulle. Impact: De Gaulle’s quotes on the gold standard led to an underground movement advocating for a return to gold coins, resulting in a bizarre resurgence of medieval-themed fairs across France.. Fact: General de Gaulle once said, 'The dollar is our currency, but it's your problem.' Clearly, he was a fan of tough love before it was cool..
• Headline: Military Role Foreseen. Impact: France’s boycott of the meeting not only cemented its reputation as the rebellious teen of Europe but also set the stage for future dramatic exits, like a soap opera but with more baguettes.. Fact: France boycotting a meeting? Shocking! Next, they’ll be refusing to attend a wine tasting. Oh, the horror!.