APRIL 20, 1969

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mao's Legacy at Communist Congress. Impact: Mao's ideas mutated into a global game of 'who can out-communist the other,' leading to an endless cycle of distrust and finger-pointing that would eventually inspire a whole genre of dystopian novels. Thanks, Mao!. Fact: Did you know that if everyone who claimed to be a communist in the 20th century actually was one, the world would need a much bigger party hat?.
• Headline: EVES and Outline Dance Workshop. Impact: The 'EVES' and 'OUTLINE' dance-off sparked a revolution in interpretive dance, leading to the eventual creation of the viral TikTok dances we see today. Who knew the future of dance was so... outlined?. Fact: Fun fact: 'EVES' and 'OUTLINE' were actually the original names for a very unsuccessful 90s boy band..
• Headline: Dispute Over Value of Head Start. Impact: The Head Start debate planted the seeds for a long-lasting argument about education funding that would echo through the halls of Congress for decades, resulting in endless budget cuts and the eventual birth of the 'Head Start but No Finish' program.. Fact: Did you know that 'Head Start' isn't just a program but also what every politician claims they have when running for office?.
• Headline: Twilight for DDT. Impact: The revolt against DDT led to a cascade of environmental regulations that created jobs for thousands of bureaucrats and a few tree-huggers, ultimately resulting in the greenwashing of corporations that still find ways to sneak in toxic chemicals. Thanks, DDT haters!. Fact: Did you know that DDT was once hailed as a miracle pesticide? Now it’s more like the toxic ex you can’t seem to escape..
• Headline: NIXON'S RESPONSE ON DOWNED PLANE DISAPPOINTS SEOUL; Official Says He Expected Punitive Action by U.S. Against North Korea Response by Nixon to Downing Of U.S. Plane Disappoints Seoul. Impact: Nixon's response paved the way for future diplomatic 'gentle nudges' that would lead to mistrust and aggression in international relations, effectively giving birth to the phrase 'strategically vague diplomacy.'. Fact: Did you know that Nixon was actually more disappointed in the plane than in South Korea's expectations? The plane didn't even get a trophy!.
• Headline: Politicians Befriend the Consumer; Politicians Befriend The U.S. Consumer. Impact: Politicians befriending consumers became a timeless, if ironic, tradition where they promised the moon while delivering a rock—setting the stage for the cynical relationship we now have with political promises.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'befriend the consumer' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's pretend we care until the election is over'?.