FEBRUARY 26, 1969

Full News Archive

• Headline: January Sales Surge for Chain Stores. Impact: With January sales rising, the world was tragically deprived of a month of complaining about the economy. Retailers rejoiced, leading to an explosion of mall construction that would confuse their future selves.. Fact: Fun fact: Chain stores are like the cockroaches of retail—no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, they just keep multiplying!.
• Headline: S.E.C.'s Chief Warns Investors Of Conglomerates' Take-Overs; S.E.C. CHIEF WARNS ON INVESTOR RISKS. Impact: Budge's warning about conglomerates sent shockwaves through the investor community, leading to a collective panic and the creation of a secret society of investors who now meet in basements to discuss safe investments—yes, they still use candles.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'conglomerate' comes from the Latin word for 'a marriage of convenience'? Because who doesn't love a good capitalist love story?.
• Headline: Federal Director of Outdoor Recreation Resigns; Crafts Says Hickel Did Not Show Confidence in Him He Draws Bipartisan Praise in House Interior Panel. Impact: Crafts' resignation sent ripples through the Outdoor Recreation community, inadvertently encouraging a new generation of weekend warriors to think they could run the show with their Instagram accounts.. Fact: Did you know that the Federal Director of Outdoor Recreation is basically the ‘camp counselor’ of the U.S.? Too bad they didn’t have a good exit strategy!.
• Headline: Britons Who Met Nixon. Impact: The meeting with Nixon became a blueprint for future leaders wanting to connect with the 'common man,' inadvertently creating a whole new genre of awkward political selfies.. Fact: Did you know that meeting with a President was once considered a big deal? Now, it's just like getting a like on social media—so yesterday!.
• Headline: Curb on Outside Activities Of U.S. Judges Is Sought. Impact: Senator Ervin's bill to curb outside activities of judges accidentally led to judges considering new hobbies, like pottery and knitting, resulting in a surprising uptick in the arts community.. Fact: Did you know that judges have a secret life outside the courtroom? Apparently, it's filled with more hobbies than you'd expect. Who knew they'd be so crafty?.