JANUARY 18, 1969

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bus Drivers Walkout Post-Mediation Fail. Impact: The recess in talks ironically led to a nationwide trend of kids skipping school, which eventually culminated in a bizarrely popular series of TikTok challenges about ditching class. Thanks, school bus drivers!. Fact: Did you know that the most dangerous bus drivers are usually the ones who have to deal with rowdy kids? Who knew they were basically the SAT of public transport?.
• Headline: Kiesinger Calls for Student Repression. Impact: Kiesinger's call for curbs on student freedoms inadvertently sparked a wave of student activism that eventually led to social media platforms being flooded with memes about being 'anarchic revolutionaries.' Thanks, Chancellor!. Fact: Did you know that calling students 'anarchic revolutionaries' is basically them being called 'cool' in 2023? They'd probably just post a meme about it now..
• Headline: Scotland's Finest Whisky for Inauguration. Impact: The shipment of whisky for the inauguration led to a historical trend of politicians drinking more than necessary at events, with some claiming it’s the secret to their speeches. Spoiler: it’s not.. Fact: Did you know that whisky is often referred to as 'water of life'? Apparently, it’s also the preferred method politicians use to 'smooth over' tough decisions..
• Headline: COURT ORDER ASKED TO END SCHOOL BIAS. Impact: The request for a court order to end school bias set off a legal domino effect that eventually led to more inclusive school policies, which, ironically, took decades longer than it should have.. Fact: Did you know that desegregation laws were about as popular as a root canal in some areas? Yet here we are, decades later, still trying to figure out how to make schools equitable..
• Headline: U.S. and Canada Plan Talks On Mohawks' Duty Dispute. Impact: The talks on customs duties between the U.S. and Canada inadvertently led to the rise of the phrase 'duty dispute,' which is now used by every couple arguing over who takes out the trash.. Fact: Did you know that the Mohawks have been negotiating for their rights long before it was cool? They were doing it before it was a hashtag!.
• Headline: William Bradley Otis, 90, Dead; Taught at City College 44 Years; Professor of English Began American Literature Crass -Won Student Polls. Impact: Otis's passing marked the end of an era in English literature education, influencing generations of students who would go on to create book clubs that only read the first chapter.. Fact: Did you know that teaching English for 44 years is basically the equivalent of running a marathon with a stack of novels? Respect to the legends!.
• Headline: Komer Visit Is Protested By Students in Istanbul. Impact: The protests against Komer's visit inadvertently inspired a global trend of student activism, leading to many more protests over things like 'too much homework' and 'bad cafeteria food.'. Fact: Did you know that protesting is basically a rite of passage for students? It's like the adult version of throwing tantrums but with signs..
• Headline: SATELLITES TO AID TROOP RADIO LINKS; Space Report to Congress Tells of New System. Impact: The introduction of satellite communication for troops led to an ongoing battle over the best way to send memes to soldiers in the field, forever changing military communication.. Fact: Did you know that the first satellite was launched in 1957? Yet here we are, still figuring out how to send a simple text without it getting lost in space..