DECEMBER 17, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Young Walter Mitty Convicted for Espionage. Impact: The fine imposed on young Bland may have accidentally planted the seeds for a generation of wannabe spies who now believe they can get away with anything, provided they have a good disguise and a really great backstory.. Fact: Walter Mitty's daydreams have inspired countless individuals to pursue careers in espionage, despite a distinct lack of actual spy skills..
• Headline: Brydges Challenges City School Plan. Impact: Brydges questioning the school plan likely led to the endless debates over education budgets, culminating in today's never-ending discussions about school lunch menus. Who knew critical thinking could lead to a food fight?. Fact: Senator Brydges probably just wanted a say in the cafeteria choices. Spoiler: they still serve mystery meat..
• Headline: U.S. Envoy to Investigate. Impact: Shuster's investigation could be viewed as the beginning of a long line of journalists getting expelled for being, well, too curious. This trend continues today with everyone wondering if they can get a juicy story without getting kicked out.. Fact: Being a journalist has always been a dangerous game; if only they had known that curiosity could lead to expulsion, they might have played it safer... or not..
• Headline: 1492 Ban on Jews Is Voided by Spain; 1492 BAN ON JEWS IS VOIDED IN SPAIN. Impact: The voiding of the ban on Jews in Spain in 1968 may have inspired a wave of subsequent inclusivity movements, leading us to the modern era where we can at least pretend to be open-minded while arguing about who gets to sit at the lunch table.. Fact: The last synagogue built in Spain before this event took 600 years. Talk about a delayed reaction!.
• Headline: TIMES REPORTER IN PRAGUE OUSTED; Tad Szulc Denies Charge He Abused His Position. Impact: Szulc’s expulsion likely sparked a series of events leading to the rise of 'fake news' accusations against journalists. This has resulted in a modern media landscape where everyone claims to be a journalist but can't even spell 'reporter.'. Fact: Journalism: the only profession where getting expelled can actually make you more famous. Go figure!.
• Headline: Bank in Chicago Names Chief Executive Officer. Impact: The new CEO at the Chicago bank might have inadvertently set off a chain reaction in corporate America, where executives are now more concerned about their titles than the actual banking — leading us to the modern-day financial circus.. Fact: Corporate reorganization: where new titles are handed out like candy, but the actual work remains the same. Sweet, right?.
• Headline: Hartfield-Zodys Elects. Impact: With Hartfield-Zodys electing new leadership, one can only imagine how many boardroom meetings have since devolved into power struggles reminiscent of reality TV shows. Tune in next week for the boardroom brawl!. Fact: Corporate elections: where the stakes are high, but the drama is even higher..
• Headline: COURT BACKS CURB ON DRAFT APPEALS; 1967 Law Restricting Right to Bring Legal Challenges Against Boards Upheld Court Backs Curb on Draft Appeals. Impact: The Supreme Court's decision on draft appeals set a precedent that has been used to justify various government actions since then, proving that sometimes the courts can be a bit like a stubborn child refusing to share their toys.. Fact: Draft avoidance strategies have become a rite of passage for many; it's like a real-life game of dodgeball, but with higher stakes and no gym teacher watching..
• Headline: CLIFFORD ASSAILED BY KY FOR STAND ON LAG IN PARLEY; Vietnamese Rejects Remark Implying Saigon's Position on Seating Causes Delay Ky Assails Clifford's Remark on Delays in Talks. Impact: Ky's public rebuke of Clifford probably encouraged future politicians to think that saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could be a viable strategy for staying in the spotlight. And look where that got us.. Fact: Politicians have mastered the art of saying the wrong thing; it’s practically a required class in political science these days..