NOVEMBER 11, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nuclear Arms Control Conference in Washington. Impact: The request for nuclear arms control set off a series of unlikely events, ultimately leading to a global obsession with bunker-building. By 2025, people were hosting ‘nuclear-themed’ parties, complete with mushroom cloud piñatas and fallout shelter charades. Who knew that a plea for peace could lead to the most bizarre party trend of the century?. Fact: Did you know that the term ‘nuclear family’ was coined long before it referred to an actual family with a bomb shelter? Seems fitting, huh?.
• Headline: Johnson-Nixon Discussions on Vietnam Policy. Impact: Johnson and Nixon’s Vietnam discussions created a butterfly effect where subsequent political leaders would spend decades pretending they could solve complex international issues over lunch. Fast forward to 2023, and we have leaders still debating delicate matters while eating takeout. Truly, history repeats itself in takeout boxes.. Fact: Did you know the phrase 'let’s table that for later' originated from these discussions? Clearly, they were just really hungry..
• Headline: U.S. Optimism on Peace Talks in Vietnam. Impact: Rostow's confidence in Paris peace talks led to a cascading series of overly optimistic predictions that would haunt diplomats for decades. This ultimately resulted in a world championship of ‘who can sound the most hopeful’ during negotiations, where the stakes are always high and the reality is often low.. Fact: Did you know that optimism in diplomacy is often mistaken for naivety? Just ask Rostow..
• Headline: Prayer Here Today Marks Celebration in Maldives. Impact: The shelling of South Vietnamese towns marked a pivotal moment, triggering a wave of anti-war protests that would ripple through the fabric of American culture. Years later, college students were still trying to find their way through a haze of confusion and indignation, with ‘protest’ becoming more of a lifestyle choice than a political stance.. Fact: Did you know that the number of protest songs skyrocketed after this event? It’s practically a genre now!.
• Headline: Foe Shells Town and Three Bases South of DMZ. Impact: The bizarre protest of burning a dog (which thankfully didn’t happen) set a precedent for future protests to incorporate increasingly outlandish antics, leading to a long line of absurd demonstrations. By the year 2025, protests included everything from avant-garde interpretive dance to flash mobs of people in chicken costumes. Because why not?. Fact: Did you know that this protest was later considered a turning point for animal rights in activism? It’s like they say, ‘You can’t spell protest without ‘pet’!’.
• Headline: FOOD IS KEY ISSUE IN CEYLON POLITICS; Regime Pins Election Hope on Ending Shortages. Impact: U.S. incursions charged in the Vietnam War led to a long-standing tradition of military action, creating a ‘how-to’ guide for future governments to follow. By 2023, the guidelines were often mistaken for the latest in military strategy, which ironically was often just a rerun of 90s sitcoms.. Fact: Did you know that military strategy meetings sometimes resemble family therapy sessions? Just with less hugging and more yelling..
• Headline: U.S. Incursions Charged. Impact: The filling of the Kennedy post with J.T. Gardiner set off a chain reaction of appointments that would forever intertwine the fate of political appointments with the quirks of the individual taking the role. Fast forward to 2023, and the position is often filled by someone who can recite the entire history of the office while simultaneously juggling.. Fact: Did you know that being an associate director is often just code for ‘person who has to take the blame’ in many organizations? Ah, the joys of bureaucracy!.
• Headline: Kennedy Post Is Filled.