AUGUST 27, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Increases Aid to Nigeria and Biafra. Impact: The increased U.S. aid to Nigeria and Biafra inadvertently led to the rise of countless food bloggers who, decades later, would criticize the U.S. for not intervening in more culinary crises around the world. Thanks, U.S. aid!. Fact: Did you know that this aid was just a warm-up for future food delivery apps? Because nothing says 'help' like an Uber Eats for a civil war.
• Headline: Argentine General Resigns from Military Duty. Impact: Alsogaray quitting military life sent shockwaves through the Argentine military, leading to a bizarre trend of military personnel suddenly discovering their passion for pottery and interpretive dance. Fact: Fun fact: After leaving the military, Alsogaray's first hobby was knitting; he believed it was the best way to stitch up the nation.
• Headline: Frederick G. Steiner, Influential Banker Passes Away. Impact: Frederick G. Steiner's death marked a pivotal moment in international banking, as conspiracy theorists claim it triggered a secret meeting of bankers who decided to start wearing monocles just to confuse everyone. Fact: Did you know that Steiner was so influential that his first bank account was opened with a gold bar? Talk about starting off on the right foot!.
• Headline: Murder Arrests Increase in City; City Figure Is 40.2% MURDER ARRESTS SHOW A RISE HERE. Impact: The spike in murder arrests led to a sudden surge in true crime podcasts, ultimately giving rise to a generation of armchair detectives who now think they could solve crimes better than the actual police. Fact: Fun fact: The increase in arrests was so significant that it sparked a trend where people started keeping murder arrest statistics in their coffee table books.
• Headline: Antiregime Alliance Resumes Appeals for Support in Saigon. Impact: The antiregime alliance's broadcast for support was the precursor to modern political influencers using social media to rally support, proving that even in war, the ‘likes’ matter. Fact: Did you know that the first appeal for support was so compelling that it inspired a reality show called 'Survivor: Saigon Edition'?.
• Headline: JOHN M. NORYS, 72, TAFTBACKER, DIES; 20'Year House Veteran CutI. Impact: John M. Norys's passing led to a sudden influx of young Taft supporters trying to figure out what on earth a 'Taftbacker' even meant, sparking a bizarre renaissance in obscure political jargon. Fact: Fun fact: Norys was known for his love of crossword puzzles, proving that even political veterans enjoy a good brain-teaser.
• Headline: Indicted Director Resigns At Franklin National Bank. Impact: DiNapoli's resignation at the bank set a precedent for corporate resignations that would later inspire a whole genre of reality TV shows based on corporate backstabbing and drama. Fact: Did you know that after resigning, DiNapoli opened a bakery called 'Sweet Resignation'? It was a hit but only lasted a year.
• Headline: U.S. Losses Caused by Fire Up 7.3 Per Cent for Month. Impact: The rising fire losses from U.S. companies led to a bizarre insurance boom, where companies began insuring their offices against spontaneous combustion, leading to the most ridiculous insurance claims of all time. Fact: Fun fact: In response to the losses, one company attempted to sell fireproof marshmallows. The world was just not ready for that level of innovation.
• Headline: Kenny Backs Gallagher. Impact: Gallagher's claims of a modern 'act of inquisition' gave rise to a slew of political comedians who now use the term 'witch hunt' for everything from political scandals to bad hair days. Fact: Did you know that Gallagher once tried to launch a line of sledgehammers for political protests? Unsurprisingly, it didn't go well.