AUGUST 20, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Home Insurance Premiums Increase Notice. Impact: Raising home policy rates by this percentage led to a nationwide outrage, sparking the Great American DIY Movement. Everyone suddenly took up carpentry, thinking they could build their own roofs. Spoiler alert: not everyone is a handyman.. Fact: Home insurance rates are like your diet: they just keep going up, no matter how hard you try to keep things under control..
• Headline: Jamaica Chosen for York College Project. Impact: Choosing Jamaica as a college site launched a wave of Caribbean-themed parties on campuses across America, leading to an unprecedented rise in coconut rum sales and questionable tattoo decisions.. Fact: Students who attend college in Jamaica get a free pass on studying hard—because, you know, beach..
• Headline: A Hitler Mercedes Sold For $47,500 to German. Impact: The sale of a Hitler Mercedes for a whopping $47,500 caused a stir that made collectors rethink the value of history. Suddenly, everyone wanted a piece of 'haunted' memorabilia, leading to a bizarre auction market for cursed items.. Fact: This car was probably in better condition than Hitler's moral compass. Talk about a luxury vehicle with a dark past!.
• Headline: PRIME RATE IS CUT BY CAROLINA BANK; Sumter Reduction Is Called 'Straw in the Wind' South Carolina Bank Reduces Its Prime Rate to 6 1/4 Per Cent. Impact: The prime rate cut by a mere fraction triggered a wild financial game of leapfrog across banks, with some banks cutting rates just to keep up, resulting in mortgage rates falling to a level that made home ownership nearly a reality for some.. Fact: In finance, 'straw in the wind' is just a fancy way of saying, 'We're not sure if this is a good idea, but let's do it anyway!'.
• Headline: Article 1 -- No Title. Impact: The imposition of a curfew after disorders led to a nationwide trend of everyone becoming night owls, sparking a rise in 24-hour diners and the birth of the midnight snack culture.. Fact: Curfews are basically society's way of saying, 'Stay indoors and binge-watch that show you’ve been avoiding!'.
• Headline: U.S. AIDE IN HAITI REPORTED BEATEN; Identity of Attacker Unclear in Incident on July 9. Impact: The beating of the U.S. aide in Haiti made headlines, leading to a surge in diplomatic relations and the subsequent creation of the 'Haitian Safety Training Program' —because who knew being a diplomat could be so dangerous?. Fact: Haiti's apology was likely as heartfelt as a toddler saying sorry after stealing a cookie. Just imagine the awkwardness..
• Headline: 2 U.S. Soldiers Die in Clash With North Korean Intruders. Impact: The unfortunate deaths of two U.S. soldiers in a clash with North Korean intruders didn't just escalate tensions; it also sparked a series of diplomatic talks that were about as effective as trying to teach a cat to fetch.. Fact: Clashes in the DMZ have historically been the world's worst excuse for a family reunion—lots of awkwardness and no one really wanting to show up..