AUGUST 19, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Democratic Unit Challenges Racial Bias in Mississippi. Impact: This event led to a chain reaction of political correctness that would eventually result in the invention of the Safe Space. Fast forward a few decades and we now have safe couches, safe snacks, and safe spaces for your feelings. Thanks, Mississippi!. Fact: If you think handling credentials at a convention is tough, try handling your own life decisions at a family reunion..
• Headline: Democrats' Convention Showdown on Key Issues. Impact: The Democrats' struggle to agree on a war plank eventually led to the invention of political maneuvering as a sport. Who knew that ducking and weaving in politics could be as entertaining as a game of dodgeball?. Fact: The only thing more confusing than the Democratic platform is the instructions for assembling IKEA furniture..
• Headline: Discover Treasures at South Street Antiques Festival. Impact: The South Street Antiques Festival marked the beginning of a nationwide obsession with vintage items. It’s now impossible to walk into a hipster café without tripping over a 1920s typewriter or a taxidermy squirrel.. Fact: Nostalgia is just a fancy word for 'I wish I had a time machine to relive when things were less complicated, like having to choose between two TV channels.'.
• Headline: Maryland Girl, 5, Second Child To Receive Heart Transplant. Impact: This heart transplant paved the way for future medical advancements, leading to the modern practice of organ donation. Who knew a five-year-old girl would be the catalyst for a future where hearts could be more easily swapped than football cards?. Fact: Before heart transplants, the only way to steal someone's heart was through a romantic gesture, not a surgical procedure..
• Headline: BOMBINGS SET OFF RIOT IN JERUSALEM; Youths Storm Arab Sector After Blasts Rock Center of City, Injuring 14 5 Bombings Set Off Riot in Jerusalem. Impact: The bombings ignited a series of conflicts that would alter the course of Middle Eastern politics and lead to future generations arguing over whose turn it is to control a territory on a map that’s been redrawn more times than a toddler’s coloring book.. Fact: If you think your neighborhood is rough, try living in a city where the local youth think throwing stones is a traditional form of protest..
• Headline: Anti-Castro Cubans March To Support Jersey Prisoner. Impact: The anti-Castro march led to a long-standing tradition of protests that would inspire countless hipster movements. Today, we have Instagram influencers protesting everything from plastic straws to the lack of artisanal avocado toast.. Fact: Picketing for your cause is like a modern-day version of sending a letter - it’s just that now your friends can 'like' it without leaving their couch..
• Headline: HEAVIEST FIGHTING IN MONTHS ERUPTS IN SOUTH VIETNAM; Enemy Launches 19 Drives in Scattered Areas, Many Near Cambodian Line FOE'S CASUALTIES HIGH American Officers See Some Indications of Start of the 'Third Offensive' Heavy Fighting Breaks Out in Vietnam. Impact: The heavy fighting in South Vietnam not only escalated the conflict but also inspired a generation of anti-war protests that would turn college campuses into battlegrounds of ideologies instead of the typical keg parties. Talk about a buzzkill!. Fact: The Vietnam War was the first conflict where you could protest it while simultaneously being distracted by a new album release from your favorite band..
• Headline: President Attends Services At 2 Churches Near Ranch. Impact: The president attending church services became a tradition that would lead to future leaders not only seeking divine guidance but also trying to appeal to their base by posting selfies with churchgoers. #Blessed #CampaignGoals. Fact: Attending church services is just a politician's way of saying, 'Please forgive me for all the things I’m about to do.'.