AUGUST 16, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hughes Withdraws Casino Acquisition Plans. Impact: If Hughes had bought the Stardust, Las Vegas might have morphed into a giant theme park for the rich, where daily parades of slot machines would replace actual human interaction. Thank goodness for that cancellation; we can still enjoy awkward conversations at the blackjack table. Fact: Hughes' casino aspirations were so grand that if he had succeeded, there might have been a slot machine named after him. Imagine asking for a 'Hughes Special' while losing your life savings!.
• Headline: Canada Chooses Equestrian Team Riders. Impact: By selecting the Riders for the Canadian equestrian team, a butterfly flapped its wings so ferociously that it directly led to the invention of the horse tranquilizer. Who knew a horse could be a catalyst for such human ingenuity?. Fact: Equestrian events are the only Olympics where the horses get more training than the riders. Talk about having a leg up in life!.
• Headline: SCLC Shifts Focus from Peacemaking. Impact: Abernathy's decision to drop the peacemaker role might have sent ripples through civil rights movements, leading to a world where people actually listen to each other instead of just shouting. Just imagine—peaceful conversations instead of picketing!. Fact: The SCLC's threats to close A&P stores showed that even grocery chains weren't safe from social movements. Who knew that the produce aisle could double as a protest ground?.
• Headline: Conviction of Klan Leader Upheld by Appeals Court. Impact: The upheld conviction of a Klan leader may have inspired a generation of activists to trade white hoods for white papers, showing that justice can, indeed, be served—one court ruling at a time. Fact: Contempt of Congress is a serious charge—kind of like getting a timeout in the adult world. Instead of being sent to their rooms, they were sent to court!.
• Headline: MUSEUM REOPENS AS STRIKE IS ENDED; Building Employes Agree on Pact With the Modern. Impact: The museum reopening after the strike was like a giant 'Welcome Back' banner for history. Who knew that a few extra dollars for workers could unlock the doors to artistic enlightenment?. Fact: Museums are the only places where you can pay to see things that are older than your great-great-grandparents. Talk about a time warp!.
• Headline: CONTRACT RATIFIED BY PHONE WORKERS. Impact: The ratification of the contract by phone workers marked a turning point where workers actually started to demand fair treatment. This probably made AT&T reconsider their customer service strategy—one can hope!. Fact: The CWA's pact with AT&T means that long-distance workers finally got a raise. Just think—somewhere, a phone operator is now two cups of coffee closer to affording that avocado toast!.
• Headline: NEW P.B.A. ORDER IS REAFFIRMATION OF PRESENT RULES; Code on Law Enforcement Is Cited -- Leary Warns Men of Insubordination. Impact: The reaffirmation of present rules by the PBA was like a stern reminder that even cops have to follow the rules—who knew law enforcement had to behave like actual adults?. Fact: This new order was a classic 'don't make me come over there' moment from the Police Commissioner. Nothing says authority like a teletype warning!.
• Headline: Urges a Vietnam Coalition; The McCarthy Cabinet. Impact: McCarthy's coalition proposal for Vietnam was a real turning point; it sent vibes that led to future political debates that would make even your college roommate's arguments look like child’s play. Fact: McCarthy's cabinet picks were basically a game of political musical chairs. Spoiler alert: no one ever sat down and stayed quiet.
• Headline: The Dance: Festival vs. Royal Ballet; New 'Sleeping Beauty' a Case in Point. Impact: The comparison of the two 'Sleeping Beauty' productions might have set off a rivalry that would inspire future ballet dancers to compete for the title of 'Most Dramatic Prince.'. Fact: Ballet is basically a sport where the athletes wear tutus and try not to trip over their own feet. Talk about a graceful sport!.