AUGUST 11, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cost-Cutting Strategies for Purchasing Agents. Impact: As purchasing agents became obsessed with cutting costs, they inadvertently triggered a global trend of minimalism that led to the rise of tiny homes and the eventual shortage of space for cats. Thanks, economy!. Fact: Did you know that the average purchasing agent now has more stress than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs? Talk about pressure!.
• Headline: Experience Soo Locks from New Heights. Impact: The fascination with ship-watching at Soo Locks created a tourism boom that led to the invention of the selfie stick. Now, every tourist can capture their ship-watching experience without actually watching the ships!. Fact: Did you know that the world's busiest locks are also the best place to contemplate your life choices while getting sunburned? It's a win-win!.
• Headline: Fiesta Time in North Florida. Impact: Fiesta Time in North Florida sparked a culinary revolution that eventually led to taco trucks popping up in every corner of America, even in places where they clearly don't belong.. Fact: Did you know that 'Fiesta' was just a fancy word for 'let's drink too much and regret our life choices'? Just kidding, it's still a party!.
• Headline: Companies Use Vans to Display Products. Impact: The rise of mobile showrooms paved the way for mobile taco stands, which became the primary source of sustenance for college students everywhere. Thanks for the innovation, companies!. Fact: Did you know that vans are just like the internet? They both allow you to showcase products that no one really wants to see but you keep shoving it in their faces anyway!.
• Headline: Sports News. Impact: The triumph of Damascus in horse racing led to an unending cycle of horse names being recycled in pop culture, resulting in everything from 'My Little Pony' to a series of overly dramatic soap operas starring horses.. Fact: Fun fact: William du Pont Jr. was just trying to win a race, but history decided that horses would be more famous than most of us will ever be!.
• Headline: Feast-or-Famine Existence Plagues Rail Car Builders; Builders of Rail Cars Plagued. Impact: The feast-or-famine existence of rail car builders inadvertently led to the invention of the 'gig economy', where workers today also have to juggle multiple jobs just to keep their heads above water. Welcome to modern life!. Fact: Did you know that rail car builders might just be the original freelancers? They were diversifying before it was cool!.
• Headline: M'GOVERN OPENS PRESIDENTIAL BID WITH PEACE PLEA; Endorses 'Kennedy Goals' of Ending War and Healing Division in Society M'GOVERN OPENS PRESIDENTIAL BID. Impact: Senator McGovern's peace plea inadvertently set a trend for all future presidential candidates to also promise world peace, which is still pending as we await the next miracle.. Fact: Did you know that the last time a politician promised peace, the world collectively laughed? Spoiler: it didn't work out!.
• Headline: Smell of Rubber Is Scent Of Success for Industry; Rubber Exudes the Smell of Success. Impact: The rubber industry's boom led to an explosion of inflatable products, resulting in the creation of bouncy castles and pool toys, forever altering children's birthday parties. Thanks, rubber!. Fact: Did you know that the smell of rubber is the unofficial scent of childhood? Forget cotton candy; give me that tire factory aroma!.