AUGUST 3, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Congress Investigates Public Opinion Polls. Impact: This inquiry led to the eventual realization that public opinion polls are about as reliable as a weather forecast made by a squirrel. Subsequent generations learned to ignore polls entirely, which probably explains why everyone was shocked during the 2016 election. Fact: Did you know that public opinion polls are the only things more inaccurate than a toddler's drawing of a cat?.
• Headline: MT. VERNON BOARD DEFYING DR. ALLEN; Refuses to Comply With His School Integration Order. Impact: The refusal to comply with integration orders created a timeline where school segregation became a hot-button issue, leading to protests and movements that, to this day, are still fighting for equality—proving that if you ignore a problem long enough, it just grows up to be an even bigger problem. Fact: It’s fun to think that those who defy progress often get their names in the history books, but mostly as examples of what not to do.
• Headline: Rockefeller's Aides Fear Reagan Drive Is Gaining Rapidly; ROCKEFELLER AIDES UPSET BY REAGAN. Impact: The Reagan drive's success set off a chain reaction that ultimately led to a new wave of political campaigns that felt more like reality TV than governance. If only they had realized that charisma and catchphrases could be more important than policies, perhaps things would have been different. Fact: Did you know that the only thing scarier than a politician gaining support is the thought of them trying to remember their own campaign promises?.
• Headline: G.O.P URBAN PLANK ASKS INDUSTRY AID IN 'CRISIS' OF SLUMS; Liberals Claim Victory but Yield on Issue of Crime in Platform Drafting Politics: G.O.P. Asks Industry Aid in Slums 'Crisis'; Rivals Woo Rhodes and Agnew LIBERALS CLAIM A PLANK VICTORY But Yield on Issue of Crime in Platform Drafting. Impact: This G.O.P. plank marked the beginning of urban policy discussions that would lead to endless debates over tax credits, urban renewal, and the question of whether politicians really care about slums or just about winning elections. Spoiler alert: it’s usually the latter. Fact: Fun fact: Politicians often make promises about urban aid that last just as long as your New Year’s resolutions—about two weeks.
• Headline: FLY ASH IS FOUND TO PURIFY WATER. Impact: This discovery led to a series of environmental innovations and the eventual rise of recycling practices, which meant that instead of throwing things away, we started wondering how many different ways we could repurpose our trash. Thanks, fly ash, for being the real MVP of pollution control!. Fact: Who knew that fly ash could be the hero in our battle against pollution? It’s basically the superhero of waste management—minus the cape.
• Headline: DALEY DELEGATES AIDING HUMPHREY; Help Form Group in Illinois Headed by Minow, Leading Supporter of Kennedy DALEY DELEGATES AIDING HUMPHREY. Impact: This political maneuvering prepped the groundwork for the future of party loyalty and backroom deals. It’s like a soap opera where you can’t tell who’s really in charge, and spoiler alert: it’s usually not the people you think. Fact: Did you know that political alliances are just like high school cliques? You have the jocks, the nerds, and the ones who will stab you in the back for a slice of pizza.
• Headline: Dance: Britons on Tour; Royal Ballet's 'Smaller' Company Appears in Spain With Fonteyn and Nureyev. Impact: This tour not only showcased the beauty of ballet but also helped spread the idea that sometimes smaller groups can have a bigger impact—just ask any indie band trying to make it big. The Royal Ballet became the ultimate ‘cool kid’ in the art world. Fact: Fun fact: If ballet were a high school sport, it would definitely be the one with the most dramatic injuries and the least amount of respect from the football team.
• Headline: 150 Hunt Ambushers Who Shot Policemen; 2 POLICEMEN SHOT IN BROOKLYN TRAP. Impact: This tragic event underscored the dangers faced by law enforcement, leading to increased scrutiny of police practices and public safety measures. It’s a harsh reminder that violence begets violence, and the cycle continues to ripple through society. Fact: The unfortunate reality is that incidents like this often lead to more debates on crime, policing, and public safety than actual solutions. A classic case of 'let’s talk about it' instead of 'let’s fix it.'.