JULY 27, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Teachers Union Threatens Strike Over Pay. Impact: If Shanker had just given the teachers a raise, we might have avoided a nationwide teacher shortage. Instead, teachers took to the streets, leading to a chain reaction that resulted in a generation of students who thought 'school' was just a Netflix series. Thanks, Shanker!. Fact: Did you know that striking teachers often know more about labor rights than the politicians who negotiate with them? Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Innovations and Inspiration in Paris. Impact: Paris introduced 'fresh ideas,' which probably included croissants and existential crises. These ideas have continued to evolve, leading to the hipster culture we know today, where people pay $10 for artisanal toast.. Fact: Did you know that 'fresh ideas' in Paris often just means a new way to say 'we're still not over the last revolution'?.
• Headline: FIRE DEPARTMENT EXPECTED TO GET 500 NEW MEN SOON; Action by Lindsay Due to Come Before Threatened Slowdown Next Week COST PUT AT $5-MILLION Declining Morale a Factor -- Alarms Up Sharply as Manpower Is Unchanged City Is Expected to Add 500 Firemen. Impact: The hiring of 500 new firemen might have prevented a few neighborhood barbeques turning into major disasters, but unfortunately, it also led to a collective of firemen who now think they deserve to be treated like superheroes. Thanks, Lindsay!. Fact: Did you know that firefighters have been known to save more cats than people? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: The 4th Kennedy Son. Impact: The fourth Kennedy son might have been overshadowed, but every time a Kennedy enters politics, conspiracy theories multiply like rabbits. Who knows how many new conspiracy theories we could have avoided?. Fact: Fun fact: The Kennedy family tree is basically a game of 'who's who' with a side of scandal..
• Headline: Candidates Offered Studios of C. B. S. At Chicago Parley. Impact: Offering CBS studios to candidates for a parley likely led to the rise of political TV ads. If only they had known that this would lead to the misery of campaign commercials dominating our airwaves for decades.. Fact: Did you know that the average American sees over 5,000 political ads during an election cycle? Good luck getting that time back!.
• Headline: Ball and Seoul's Leaders Plan U.N. Debate Strategy. Impact: Ball and Seoul's leaders strategizing for U.N. debates may have inadvertently led to the longest game of diplomatic chess in history. Spoiler: The pawns never really got promoted.. Fact: Fun fact: The U.N. debates are the only place where countries can argue for hours over something and still not come to any conclusions. Sounds familiar, right?.
• Headline: PROTEST DISCLOSED ON LATVIAN MEETING. Impact: The Senate's cost-cutting measures for mutual funds led to a confusing world where investors had to decipher jargon that sounded more like a spell from Harry Potter than financial advice. Thanks for that, Senate!. Fact: Did you know that mutual funds are basically like a box of chocolates? You never know what you're going to get, but you can bet it's going to cost you..
• Headline: Senate, Voting Bill, Acts to Trim Costs For Mutual Funds; FUND-COST CUTS VOTED BY SENATE.