JULY 19, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Israel and West Germany Cooperation Pact. Impact: The signing of this road-building pact led to the creation of the world's worst traffic jam, where drivers from Tel Aviv to the Negev still argue over who has the right of way on the newly paved roads. Legend has it, a butterfly flapped its wings in Germany, and now everyone is stuck behind a camel. Fact: The $33.6 million could have funded a lot of hummus. But hey, who needs delicious spreads when you can have potholes?.
• Headline: GOVERNOR DISCOUNTS CHURCH TIES AS TEST. Impact: By suggesting that a candidate without religious ties could be suitable for presidency, it caused a ripple effect of political candidates trying to prove their worth by doing increasingly ridiculous things, such as skydiving or eating bugs on live TV. Thanks, Rockefeller!. Fact: Remember when being a candidate meant having a good idea? Now it just means having a good PR team and a knack for social media.
• Headline: BRANDT CONDEMNS EAST GERMAN ROLE; Says He Is Deeply Ashamed of Pressures on Czechs. Impact: Brandt’s condemnation sparked a series of diplomatic ‘shame’ awards, leading to an annual competition among countries to see who could express the most elaborate shame over their neighbors' actions. Spoiler alert: The winner is always Germany. Fact: East Germany's idea of 'agitating' was just a really intense game of Scrabble. Who knew words could cause such an uproar?.
• Headline: Jersey City Will Get Transit Hub in 1971; JERSEY CITY TO GET TRANSIT HUB IN '71. Impact: The transit hub ended up being a hotbed for time travelers who mistakenly thought Jersey City was a trendy destination. Now, every time someone mentions 'Jersey,' time travelers cringe. Fact: Jersey City’s transit hub was originally planned to be named 'The Gateway to Nowhere' until they realized that was a little too honest.
• Headline: M'CARTHY'S STAFF IN CAPITAL SLASHED. Impact: The layoffs led to a massive influx of unemployed political staffers, who then became the original influencers on social media, inadvertently leading to the rise of cat memes in politics. Fact: McCarthy's staff cuts were the first recorded case of political layoffs resulting in an explosion of memes. The internet hadn’t even been invented yet!.
• Headline: House Unit Rejects Postal Force Cut. Impact: This decision ensured that your grandmother would always receive her 'I can still do it' newsletters and those delightful holiday cards from people you never wanted to hear from again. Thanks, House Unit!. Fact: The postal service has survived more crises than your average soap opera. Who knew delivering mail could be so dramatic?.
• Headline: Judge Asserts Baltimore May Be Sued for Riot Loss. Impact: The ruling opened the floodgates for cities to be held accountable for civil unrest, leading to a new era where cities began hiring PR firms to spin riot narratives into 'exciting community events.'. Fact: The $5 million in claims is a drop in the bucket compared to the cost of fixing the public image of a city after a riot. Who knew PR could be so pricey?.