JULY 16, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nickerson and Sutton Endorse McCarthy. Impact: Nickerson's flip-flop on McCarthy set off a chain reaction where every political endorsement became a game of musical chairs, leading to the invention of the phrase 'political gymnastics'.. Fact: Did you know that McCarthy's name is still synonymous with 'witch hunt'? I guess that makes Nickerson a witch-finder general!.
• Headline: House of Representatives Marathon Session. Impact: This marathon session inspired future Congresses to adopt the 'do it at the last minute' strategy, leading to the famous 'night before the deadline' panic that still haunts legislators today.. Fact: Fun fact: This was probably the longest Congress had worked without arguing over donuts in the break room!.
• Headline: Restaurant Bombed Again. Impact: The repeated bombings of this restaurant resulted in a future trend of food establishments doubling as bomb shelters, making 'dinner and a show' take on a whole new meaning.. Fact: Ironically, this restaurant's new slogan became 'We serve up more than just meals!'.
• Headline: PRESIDENT SIGNS PARK FUNDS BILL; Law Doubles U.S. Outlays to $200-Million a Year. Impact: This funding boom for parks inspired generations to embrace nature, which eventually led to the creation of the infamous 'nature influencer'—those who take selfies in the woods while simultaneously complaining about Wi-Fi.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time the government doubled park funding, it resulted in more lawn chairs than actual wildlife!.
• Headline: CZECHS DEMAND A BASIC REVISION OF WARSAW PACT; Seek Rotated Command and a Rule Against Treaty's Use for Political Ends. Impact: This demand for revision inadvertently led to countless diplomatic meetings that resulted in more coffee breaks than actual agreements, forever turning diplomacy into a game of 'who can brew the best coffee'.. Fact: Did you know that requesting a revision of a pact is like asking your sibling to share their dessert? It usually ends in tears and more negotiations!.
• Headline: 10% Surtax in Effect, Withholding Goes Up. Impact: The surtax implementation led to a future where tax season became an Olympic sport, with competitors vying for the title of 'Best at Avoiding the Taxman'.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing that increases faster than taxes is the number of people pretending to be accountants on the internet!.
• Headline: Russian Jetliner Inaugurates Direct Soviet-U.S. Passenger Flights; SOVIET AIRLINER OPENS U.S. SERVICE. Impact: This flight connection opened the floodgates for cultural exchange, leading to a revolution in the snack industry, where potato chips and vodka became the new staple of in-flight catering.. Fact: Did you know that this flight was so revolutionary that it sparked the 'In-Flight Borscht Challenge'? Just kidding, but it should have!.
• Headline: 3 Cabinet Ministers Designated in Poland. Impact: The replacement of these ministers marked the beginning of a trend where cabinet positions became as stable as a sandcastle during high tide, leading to future governments constantly shuffling their deck.. Fact: Did you know that in Poland, cabinet ministers have a shorter shelf life than milk? You might want to check the expiration date!.