JULY 2, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Demands Return of Intercepted Jet. Impact: The U.S. asking for a jet back led to an intense diplomatic stare-off that would eventually inspire countless spy novels. Spoiler alert: they never got the jet back, but they did get an exciting game of international poker going.. Fact: The 214 people on that plane were probably just looking for a quick trip to the beach. Instead, they found themselves in the middle of a Cold War episode that could rival anything on Netflix..
• Headline: NYC's Plan for Junked Automobiles Explained. Impact: This headline sparked a city-wide debate about car ownership that would lead to a series of motivational posters encouraging responsible vehicle ownership. Who knew junked cars could inspire enlightenment?. Fact: Did you know that some of these 'junked' cars were actually just waiting for their owners to come back from an extended vacation? Spoiler: they never did. Cars have feelings too, you know!.
• Headline: Vatican Considers Lifting Galileo's Censure. Impact: Lifting the censure of Galileo meant that future generations could finally embrace science without fear of divine retribution. Thanks, Vatican! You really know how to come around, don’t you?. Fact: Galileo spent his last years under house arrest for suggesting the Earth revolves around the sun. Who knew the Church had such a strict 'no science' policy? Imagine how different the cosmos would look if they had just let him be!.
• Headline: Panel May Study Ad Income. Impact: This panel's decision to study advertising income was the inception of countless boring meetings that would eventually spiral into the modern-day world of influencer marketing. Thanks for that, panel!. Fact: Taxing ad income? Sounds like a great way to ruin a perfectly good Saturday morning! Next, they'll be taxing our coffee breaks too..
• Headline: DOCTORS SEE RISE IN CHILD NEGLECT; Member of Panel Criticizes State Child-Welfare Unit. Impact: This grim report on child neglect led to a nationwide effort that would eventually result in better child welfare laws—because apparently, some people needed a wake-up call to prioritize the welfare of children.. Fact: Child neglect is a serious issue, and it’s shocking that it takes reports like this to remind us that children are not just tiny adults. They need care and attention—who would have thought?.
• Headline: Excerpts From Manuscript Purported to Be the Diary Guevara Kept in Bolivia. Impact: This diary resurfacing sparked a renewed interest in revolutionary literature, leading to an unexpected surge in hipster book clubs. Because nothing says 'rebellion' like sipping fair-trade coffee while discussing Guevara.. Fact: Che Guevara's diary entries are said to be so intense that even the paper they were written on probably needed a therapy session. Who knew writing could be so emotionally taxing?.
• Headline: Johnson Appeals for Funds For Equal Opportunity Unit. Impact: Johnson's appeal for funds was so successful that it eventually inspired a plethora of government programs aimed at equality—because clearly, equality just needed a little financial push to get going.. Fact: Equal Opportunity funding is like trying to get a cat to take a bath; it took a lot of convincing and still left everyone a little soggy..
• Headline: DAYAN STAYS AWAY AS ALLON IS NAMED. Impact: Dayan's absence from this meeting led to a political rivalry that would be recounted for years, proving that sometimes, not showing up is the best way to make a statement. Or to avoid awkward small talk.. Fact: In politics, sometimes the loudest move is to say nothing at all. Dayan clearly had the right idea—who wants to deal with the drama of a cabinet meeting?.
• Headline: RECEIVER SLATED AT B.S.F. CONCERN; Action to 'Conserve Assets' of Link in Muscat Chain. Impact: This court action set off a domino effect in corporate governance, leading to stricter regulations on company management. So now, every time a CEO mismanages, they have to think twice—thanks to one company’s oversight!. Fact: Appointing a receiver is just a fancy way of saying, 'Oops! We really messed up here, let’s bring in a babysitter.'.
• Headline: Bundy Confers in Cairo. Impact: Bundy's visit to Cairo initiated a series of diplomatic discussions that would ripple through Middle Eastern politics, reminding everyone that sometimes it takes one man's journey to stir an entire political ocean.. Fact: Bundy in Cairo? Sounds like the start of a really bad joke—'So a guy walks into Cairo…' Spoiler alert: no punchline, just more political intrigue!.