JUNE 19, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tax Rise Bill Moves Forward in House. Impact: This tax rise could have sparked a nationwide trend of 'taxation as a sport,' where everyone competes to see who can dodge taxes the best, leading to an underground economy of tax evasion Olympics.. Fact: It's said that the only two certainties in life are death and taxes, and judging by this vote, they’re both coming for you at the same time!.
• Headline: Brooke Warns of War Expansion Risks. Impact: Senator Brooke's warning might have inadvertently led to a massive increase in war documentaries, each one more dramatic than the last, with a side effect of American pop culture becoming obsessed with Vietnam.. Fact: Fun fact: The number of war movies produced in the years following this warning could fill a small library, but they never seem to teach us anything new!.
• Headline: MOST BUDGET CUTS VETOED BY MAYOR; He Accuses Council, Board of 'Flimflam' Financing -- $14-Million Is Restored Mayor Vetoes Most Budget Cuts and Charges Council and Board With a 'Flimflam'. Impact: The Mayor’s veto may have started a trend of ‘flimflam financing’ becoming a buzzword in political arenas, leading to a reality show where politicians try to out-flimflam each other.. Fact: Flimflam financing sounds like a fancy term for 'let's pretend we know what we're doing'—which is basically politics in a nutshell!.
• Headline: Dance: Israeli Company at Festival; Batsheva Troupe Makes a Hit in Amsterdam Martha Graham's Pupils Are Choreographers. Impact: The success of the Batsheva Troupe might have unintentionally sparked a global dance-off culture, where countries compete not just in sports but in choreography, leading to some very awkward international summits.. Fact: Dance is often said to be the universal language—too bad the diplomats never took lessons before their meetings!.
• Headline: LOWENSTEIN WINS RACE IN NASSAU; Critic of Johnson Defeats Vorspan in House Contest. Impact: Lowenstein's victory could have inspired a wave of political underdogs to run for office, leading to a future where critics of the establishment become the establishment. Plot twist!. Fact: They say democracy is the art of running in circles—just ask any politician who promises change but ends up in the same old routine!.
• Headline: Tornado Hits Kansas Town. Impact: The tornado in Kansas may have inspired a new genre of horror films, with plots revolving around unsuspecting towns being lifted off the ground, only to land in a world where everyone speaks in metaphors.. Fact: Tornadoes are nature's way of saying, 'Hey, let’s spice up the landscape!'.
• Headline: Doctors' New Leader; Dwight Lyman Wilbur. Impact: Dwight Lyman Wilbur's leadership could have led to a future where doctors become more like celebrities, complete with their own fan clubs and merchandise lines—scalpel keychains, anyone?. Fact: Being a doctor is tough, but imagine if they had to deal with fan mail like rock stars. 'Dear Dr. Wilbur, loved your last surgery, can I have your autograph?'.
• Headline: Bonn Asking Trade Action. Impact: Bonn’s request for trade action might have triggered a series of international trade wars, leading to a bizarre future where countries barter with cheese and chocolate instead of currency.. Fact: Trade disputes could be easily resolved with a good cheese platter—just saying!.