JUNE 17, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Planes Grounded in Cairo Incident. Impact: This incident sparked a chain reaction of paranoia that led to the creation of a secret society of plane spotters who believed they were being watched by the government. They later became the first official 'UFO enthusiasts', mistakenly attributing every airplane sighting to extraterrestrials.. Fact: If only those planes had just landed at the nearest Starbucks instead—imagine the diplomatic coffee break!.
• Headline: True Duane Triumphs in Rich Canada Pace. Impact: True Duane's victory inspired a generation of racehorses to pursue their dreams of fame, leading to the first-ever equine motivational speaking circuit. Horses everywhere began asking for their own agents.. Fact: True Duane might just be the fastest horse in history, but let's be honest, he still can't outrun the vet when it's time for shots!.
• Headline: Increased Guerrilla Warfare in Israel. Impact: The increased guerrilla activity led to the development of better security measures, which then inspired a thriving industry in personal safety apps—because nothing says 'peace' like a notification for incoming attacks.. Fact: In case you were wondering, the chaos didn't just end with guerrilla actions; it also led to the creation of 'guerrilla gardening'—a peaceful protest that involved planting flowers in unkempt lots!.
• Headline: Moyers Says Humphrey Will Stress Own Policies; MOYERS PREDICTS HUMPHREY SHIFT. Impact: Moyers' prediction was the catalyst for Humphrey's eventual transformation into a political chameleon, inspiring future politicians to adopt the practice of shifting positions faster than a toddler in a candy store.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more fluid than Humphrey's policies was his hair gel—he could probably slide through any debate!.
• Headline: DEMOCRATS CLASH IN PRIMARY DRIVE; VOTING TOMORROW; 2 Rivals Accuse Resnick of Lavish Campaign Spending in U.S. Senate Race FLURRY OF BATTLES DUE Political Convention Posts Also Involved in Complex 4-Party Balloting DEMOCRATS CLASH IN PRIMARY DRIVE. Impact: The clashes during the primaries led to a newfound appreciation for political debates, eventually spawning reality TV shows where politicians cook and argue, forever raising the bar for what constitutes 'entertainment'.. Fact: It’s ironic that in a battle for democracy, the real winner was the TV ratings department—who knew squabbling could be so profitable?.
• Headline: BAHAMIAN OFFICIAL REPORTED MISSING. Impact: The mystery of the missing Bahamian official led to a newfound emphasis on transparency in government, inspiring citizens to demand more accountability from their leaders. This eventually resulted in the creation of numerous 'Where Are They Now?' segments on public television.. Fact: If only he had left a trail of breadcrumbs, we might have had a much happier ending to this story!.
• Headline: Newsweek Poll Says Nixon Could Win on First Ballot. Impact: This poll led to Nixon’s overconfidence, which in turn inspired a slew of political strategists to focus more on polls than actual governance. And we all know how well that turned out for future politicians.. Fact: Spoiler alert: The only thing Nixon won on the first ballot was a one-way ticket to the history books—talk about a rough landing!.
• Headline: Eisenhower Struck By Heart Attack; Condition Is 'Stable'; 5TH HEART ATTACK HITS EISENHOWER. Impact: Eisenhower’s health issues prompted a national conversation about heart health, leading to the establishment of what we now know as the 'health-conscious era'—where a salad is considered a meal, and running is a social event.. Fact: Eisenhower famously said, 'The only thing I fear is fear itself.' But I bet he would have changed that to 'The only thing I fear is my doctor!' after this..