APRIL 26, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Godard's Allegory: Carabiniers Premiere. Impact: The arrival of 'Carabiniers' sparked a chain reaction of avant-garde cinema that led to an underground film movement, resulting in hipsters with berets and ironic mustaches taking over coffee shops a decade later.. Fact: Jean-Luc Godard once said, 'A film should have a beginning, a middle, and an end, but not necessarily in that order.' Guess he was just trying to keep us on our toes!.
• Headline: Revolutionary Debate at Church Conference. Impact: This debate led to a schism in the church, resulting in a new faction that believed in using Twitter for divine messages, thus revolutionizing both religion and social media marketing.. Fact: Revolutions in history often start with someone being really upset about a sermon. Just think, if only they had better Wi-Fi!.
• Headline: Columbia University Protests and Class Cancellations. Impact: This protest ignited a nationwide trend of campus activism, eventually leading to today's students staging sit-ins for avocado toast and better Wi-Fi in their dorms.. Fact: Columbia's gym was supposed to be a place for fitness, but instead became a battleground for student rights. Talk about a workout plan going off the rails!.
• Headline: Johnson Disavows A Bystander Role In the Elections; JOHNSON BARRING BYSTANDER'S ROLE. Impact: Johnson's insistence on taking an active role in elections led to a new political trend where candidates now feel the need to actually participate instead of just posing for campaign photos.. Fact: In politics, being a bystander is often just a fancy way of saying, 'I have no idea what's happening but I still want the paycheck.'.
• Headline: Books of The Times; Mailer on the March. Impact: Mailer’s literary endeavors led to a resurgence in the popularity of narrative non-fiction, ultimately resulting in countless memoirs about nothing written by influencers.. Fact: Norman Mailer was known for his bold style, which was essentially just a fancy way of saying he liked to stir the pot. Who knew writing could be so much like social media?.
• Headline: WAR ON RED TAPE IS AIDED IN SOVIET; Quick Answers to Citizens' Complaints Now Required. Impact: This decree eventually inspired bureaucracies around the world to adopt faster complaint resolution processes, leading to the invention of the 'customer service rep' as a new species of human.. Fact: The only thing longer than red tape is the line at the DMV. Maybe they should take notes from the Soviets!.
• Headline: Johnson's Choice for U.N. Post. Impact: Johnson's appointment choices set a precedent for political maneuvering that resulted in the phrase 'It's not what you know, but who you know' becoming the unofficial motto of politics worldwide.. Fact: George Wildman Ball—because sometimes a name just needs to sound like it came straight from a political thriller!.
• Headline: Spock Defense to Get Data. Impact: The legal proceedings around Spock's defense opened the floodgates for science fiction to be taken seriously in court, eventually leading to the infamous trial of the 'Time Traveler' in 2035.. Fact: If Spock had been on trial today, the evidence might just consist of a few memes and a lot of 'live long and prosper' gestures. Who knew defense could be so logical?.