APRIL 8, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mrs. Johnson's Quiet Day at Church. Impact: Mrs. Johnson's peaceful church day inspired the creation of countless 'quiet time' retreats throughout history, where people would gather to do absolutely nothing and contemplate... the meaning of nothingness.. Fact: In Texas, 'quiet' is often just a euphemism for 'we're not talking about the armadillo incident.'.
• Headline: Volpe's Call to End Housing Inequality. Impact: Volpe's call to end slums inadvertently led to the rise of hipster enclaves, where overpriced coffee shops now occupy what were once the most dangerous neighborhoods.. Fact: Massachusetts has a long history of governmental action on housing... and a longer history of people ignoring it..
• Headline: Condemnation of Soviet Anti-Semitism. Impact: The decrying of Soviet anti-Semitism created a ripple effect that led to an unexpected boom in Jewish cultural festivals worldwide, ultimately resulting in the world's largest bagel-eating contest.. Fact: The real reason for the Soviet's scapegoating? They couldn’t find a good bagel shop in Moscow..
• Headline: MARXISTS TO MEET CHRISTIANS TODAY; World Council Sponsoring 4-Day Seminar in Geneva. Impact: This Christian-Marxist seminar inadvertently sparked the creation of the first 'socialist potluck,' where everyone brought their best dishes to share... and then argued about who contributed the most.. Fact: The tension between Christians and Marxists was so thick, it could have been sliced with a loaf of stale bread..
• Headline: Harlem Youths Exhibit Loot, Taken 'to Get Back at Whitey'. Impact: The looting incident led to a series of protests that eventually inspired a famous line in a popular song about 'getting back at the man,' which ironically, made 'the man' more famous.. Fact: Looting is often seen as a form of protest, but it turns out that stealing a TV doesn’t actually change the world. Who knew?.
• Headline: Soviet Fires Rocket; Moon Orbit Likely; Soviet Fires Craft Likely to Orbit Moon. Impact: Soviet rocket launches established a fierce competition that ultimately led to the moon landing, but only after a series of bizarre bets involving vodka, a bear, and a game of chess.. Fact: The first moon landing? Just a Soviet plot to claim the moon as a vacation destination. Turns out, no one packed a suitcase..
• Headline: Detroit Curfew Extended. Impact: The curfew extension in Detroit led to a unique tradition of midnight snacks among residents who decided to rebel against authority by indulging in the most decadent of desserts.. Fact: Curfews are like the universe's way of saying, 'You can stay up, but only if you promise to do nothing fun.'.
• Headline: Hundreds Homeless, Eight Dead; Johnson Weighs Decisions. Impact: The tragedy of Jim Clark's death in a racing accident led to the introduction of stricter safety regulations in auto racing, which later inspired the creation of the 'slow and steady' racing league for tortoises.. Fact: Jim Clark was known for his incredible speed, but in the end, it was the track that had the last laugh..
• Headline: Jim Clark, Auto Racing Star, Killed on German Track; Clark Is Killed When Lotus-Ford Goes Out of Control in Race in Germany.