MARCH 2, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Thieu's Emergency Powers Denied by Legislators. Impact: Thieu's request for emergency powers was like asking for a bigger slice of cake when you're already getting dessert. This rejection may have led to a series of political missteps that ultimately resulted in an even bigger mess in South Vietnam. Who knew that cake could cause such chaos?. Fact: Did you know? When politicians ask for 'emergency powers', it's usually code for 'I promise I won't be a dictator... this time!'.
• Headline: Court Affirms Right to Protest at Bus Station. Impact: This court ruling was like a butterfly flapping its wings, leading to a tornado of protest rights that would inspire generations. Who knows? Without this decision, we might be stuck watching people silently protest by knitting in public.. Fact: Did you know? The right to protest in public spaces is one of the few things that makes waiting at a bus station bearable!.
• Headline: 200 Hurt as Rome Students, Demanding Reforms, Clash With Police; STUDENTS CLASH WITH ROME POLICE. Impact: The students' clash with police may have been the spark that ignited countless future protests, leading to a worldwide trend in getting things done through yelling and chanting. Take that, diplomatic discussions!. Fact: Fun fact: When students clash with police, it’s usually because they’re fighting for ‘the right to party’... or in this case, the right to have a say in their education..
• Headline: Amy Vanderbilt, Curtis B. Kellar Are Wed Here. Impact: This wedding may not seem significant now, but imagine if they had opened a bakery together. We could have had a whole series of culinary reality shows that changed the landscape of television. Thanks for nothing, Amy and Curtis!. Fact: Did you know? Weddings are just elaborate excuses for people to eat cake and argue about the seating arrangement!.
• Headline: Rights Leaders Support Criticism of Whites; Civil Rights Leaders Support Criticism of Whites. Impact: The criticism of whites might have been the first ripple of a wave that, decades later, led to social media influencers claiming to be 'woke'. Irony, meet the internet.. Fact: Did you know? Civil rights leaders have been criticizing societal issues since before it was cool—and before hashtags existed!.
• Headline: The Met's Handsome 'Elisir' Moves Into the New House. Impact: The Met's new house might have opened the door for opera to become less stuffy and more accessible. Or it could have just maintained its reputation for being a fancy nap time for the elite. Who knows?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Elisir d'Amore' translates to 'Elixir of Love', but I think we can all agree that the real elixir is a good cup of coffee before the performance..
• Headline: Annual 'Bonus' Is Urged For Not Having Babies. Impact: This proposal for a baby bonus was probably an attempt to curb the baby boom. Ironically, it could have led to a spike in the number of 'baby-free' zones in New York, creating a new underground movement.. Fact: Did you know? Offering money for not having babies is just a polite way of saying, 'Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop procreating!'.