FEBRUARY 22, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pentagon's Rifle Locking Policy Explained. Impact: The Pentagon's decision to lock up rifles led to a cascade of military regulations that eventually resulted in troops inventing new forms of personal space, including the infamous 'bunk buddy' system that now requires soldiers to have a pillow fort between their beds.. Fact: If only they had locked up the decision-makers instead, we might have avoided a lot of military blunders..
• Headline: Tribute to Stuart K. Barnes: Lawyer and Banker. Impact: Stuart K. Barnes' life as a lawyer and banker could have inspired a series of legal dramas where every courtroom scene is punctuated by dramatic monologues about the ethics of banking, influencing countless TV shows and films to this day.. Fact: The only thing more boring than being a banker is probably reading the fine print of a loan agreement..
• Headline: Escalating Tensions in the Golan Heights. Impact: These new attacks in the Golan Heights prompted a real estate boom in underground bunkers, leading to the rise of the 'post-apocalyptic chic' home decor trend that still plagues design shows today.. Fact: If only the infiltrators had opted for a peaceful picnic instead, we might have had a very different approach to international relations—maybe even a food truck revolution..
• Headline: Court Planned in Hue To Try Enemy Agents. Impact: The establishment of a military court in Hue set a precedent for countless military tribunals that would forget the concept of 'due process', leading to a tradition of questionable justice that now inspires reality TV courtroom dramas.. Fact: The irony of military justice is that it’s often anything but just. Kind of like trying to find a fair price in a used car lot..
• Headline: U.S. RULES ARGUED FOR KOSHER FOWL; Poultry Producers Disagree on Need for Inspection. Impact: The debate over kosher poultry inspections led to an unexpected rise in kosher meat sales, making every deli in America the epicenter of a culinary revolution that would eventually introduce us to the concept of 'gourmet hot dogs'.. Fact: This is why you should never underestimate the power of poultry; it’s not just food, it’s a cultural battleground..
• Headline: Two at Fort Jackson Face Court-Martial Over War Doubts. Impact: The court-martial of Pfc R P Tater and Pvt S F Kline Jr not only set them on a path of military consequence but also inspired an entire generation of anti-war activists to cleverly use potato puns in protests.. Fact: In a twist of fate, their names would go down in history as the most entertaining excuse for a court-martial ever..
• Headline: Text of Fulbright's Statement and Excerpts From Morse's on Tonkin Incidents. Impact: Fulbright's statement on the Tonkin incidents became the foundation for conspiracy theories about government transparency, leading to a culture of skepticism that still has citizens questioning whether the sky is really blue.. Fact: Eventually, this skepticism would inspire a series of bestsellers that turned paranoia into a lucrative industry..
• Headline: 13 Midshipmen Face Dismissal In Marijuana Case at Annapolis; 13 Annapolis Midshipmen Face Ouster. Impact: The dismissal of 13 midshipmen for marijuana use led to a crackdown on military drug policies, inadvertently inspiring the creation of a 'just say no' mantra that somehow still hasn’t been fully effective.. Fact: Ironically, this action probably made more midshipmen want to experiment with 'other' substances just to rebel against the establishment—talk about a failed strategy..
• Headline: SENATORS REJECT OPEN HOUSING BAN; Leadership Move Is Beaten by Civil Rights Coalition on a Vote of 58 to 34 SENATORS REJECT OPEN HOUSING BAN. Impact: The rejection of the open housing ban by senators sparked a wave of civil rights activism that ripple-effected into modern-day housing policies, where people still argue over the right to live where they want—often with no actual resolution in sight.. Fact: Congratulations, senators! You managed to keep the housing debate alive for decades—way to go!.
• Headline: Soviet Embassy Bombed; Johnson Orders Inquiry; Police and F.B.I. Investigate Blast BOMB BLAST RIPS SOVIET EMBASSY. Impact: The bombing of the Soviet Embassy not only escalated tensions between the U.S. and the USSR, but it also inspired countless spy novels where the plot twist is always someone blowing something up to make a point.. Fact: In a world where diplomacy seems overrated, maybe we should consider taking up knitting instead..