FEBRUARY 8, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: A.T.&T. Sets Record Earnings in 1967. Impact: A.T.&T.'s record profits led to the creation of the first ever 'Rich People Problems' seminar in 1968, where millionaires complained about their tax rates while drinking champagne. The ripple? Today we have influencers posting about their 'struggles' with 'affording' avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that in 1967, people still thought a 'text' was just a book? Now, we text each other instead of having real conversations. Progress!.
• Headline: Exploring 'Ladies Bountiful' Through End Papers. Impact: The mysterious 'End Papers' headline sparked a secret society of bibliophiles who believed that the end of a book could predict the end of the world. Spoiler alert: it didn't.. Fact: Fun fact: 'End Papers' refers to the pages found at the beginning and end of a book. Not to be confused with the end of civilization..
• Headline: National Poison Prevention Week Awareness. Impact: The establishment of Poison Prevention Week inadvertently led to the invention of the 'extreme sports' of parenting, where parents began to see who could child-proof their homes the best. The result? A generation of kids perfecting parkour.. Fact: Ironically, some of the most dangerous substances are found in your kitchen. Good luck surviving that Tupperware party!.
• Headline: American Motors Hails a Rare Profit; AMERICAN MOTORS HAILS RARE PROFIT. Impact: American Motors' rare profit led to a chain reaction of optimism that somehow convinced people they could invest in non-existent companies. Thanks to them, we now have a thriving market for NFTs.. Fact: Roy Dikeman Chapin Jr. wasn’t just a businessman; he was a pioneer in the art of making profits from things that should have been left to the history books..
• Headline: Jobless Rate Down To 3.5% in January, Lowest in 14 Years; JOBLESS RATE DIPS TO A 14-YEAR LOW. Impact: The jobless rate dipping to 3.5% led to the invention of the phrase 'now hiring' appearing in every window across America. This was followed by the 'Great Job Hunt' of 1968, where people learned that job searching is basically just a full-time job.. Fact: Did you know that a 3.5% unemployment rate means that 96.5% of people are still pretending to enjoy their 9 to 5? Cheers to that!.
• Headline: Long-Distance Commuting: A Way of Life for Executives; Commuting From Afar: A Way of Life. Impact: Long-distance commuting became the ultimate excuse for being late to work. It inspired a wave of motivational quotes about the 'journey being more important than the destination' while secretly breeding resentment among coworkers.. Fact: Funny enough, long-distance commuting often led executives to become experts in the art of napping. Who knew traffic jams could be so productive?.
• Headline: SOVIET BIDS WEST AID POOR NATIONS; But Promises Little Itself in New Delhi Meeting. Impact: The Soviet bid to aid poor nations became a classic case of 'you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours,' leading to a tangled web of global alliances that eventually facilitated the rise of 'diplomatic tea parties.'. Fact: Did you know that walking out of meetings is a tradition that dates back to ancient civilizations? Clearly, some things never change..
• Headline: JOHNSON WIDENS NARCOTICS FIGHT; Merges Two Agencies for Curb on Dangerous Drugs. Impact: Johnson's merging of narcotics agencies set off a chain of government bureaucracy that ultimately led to the rise of the 'Just Say No' campaign, which is still referenced today as a prime example of what NOT to do in drug policy.. Fact: The fight against narcotics has been going on longer than most of us have been alive. And yet, here we are, still figuring out how to say 'no' at parties..
• Headline: Survivors Hunt Dead of Bentre, Turned to Rubble in Allied Raids. Impact: The tragedy at Bentre highlighted the very real consequences of war, leading to a global movement advocating for peace. Ironically, it's turned into a series of 'peace talks' that are more like awkward first dates.. Fact: Over 1,000 casualties in Bentre was a devastating loss, a reminder that war affects real lives and not just the headlines. Every number has a name, a story, and a family..