FEBRUARY 1, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Devastating Pacific Coast Storm Aftermath. Impact: The storm that left 7 missing resulted in the creation of a new extreme weather alert system. This system, ironically, scared a lot of people into staying indoors, inadvertently leading to a spike in binge-watching shows and a nationwide obsession with snack food. Who knew a storm could create couch potatoes?. Fact: Prior to this storm, people thought 'being stranded' referred only to their social lives on a Friday night.
• Headline: Senators Push to Repeal Welfare Provisions. Impact: The push to repeal welfare curbs led to endless debates that would echo through Congress for decades. It also led to a new breed of political pundits who thrive on arguing about welfare like it's the ultimate sport. Spoiler alert: they still haven't scored. Fact: Kennedy and Harris arguing about welfare is probably the earliest documented case of political 'you hang up first'.
• Headline: HUGHES RULES OUT ANY TAX INCREASE; Plans Bond Issues in Fall to Finance Construction-$1.1-Billion Budget Due HUGHES RULES OUT ANY TAX INCREASE. Impact: Hughes' refusal to raise taxes sparked a revolution in bond issues, which eventually led to the Great American Budget Bake Sale of '78. Yes, it was as ridiculous as it sounds, and they actually sold cookies shaped like dollar signs. Fact: Politicians not wanting to raise taxes is as old as time itself. It's like the 'no carbs' diet of the fiscal world—everyone says it, but everyone knows it's a lie.
• Headline: Minerve Is Declared Lost. Impact: The declaration of Minerve as lost led to a series of naval searches that ultimately resulted in the invention of underwater drones. Who knew that a tragedy could lead to the future of submarine exploration? Talk about finding silver linings in the deep blue. Fact: In naval terms, 'lost' can mean a whole lot of things—like my love for all those reality TV shows I promised I’d stop watching.
• Headline: 2 Fly to Hanoi to Return 3 Pilots Due to Be Freed. Impact: The return of pilots from Hanoi became a pivotal moment that amplified anti-war sentiments across the U.S., ultimately leading to the establishment of many activist groups that still operate today. Clearly, even the most mundane flights can have historical consequences. Fact: You know you've reached peak '70s when flying to Hanoi for a rescue mission becomes more popular than a concert by a rock band.
• Headline: Article 1 -- No Title. Impact: Kosygin's brief stay in Kabul set off a chain reaction of diplomatic visits that made international relations feel as chaotic as a group project in high school. It also left historians debating whether cozying up to leaders was the original form of 'networking'. Fact: A one-night stay? Sounds like Kosygin was just trying to avoid the awkward 'let's do breakfast' conversation the next morning.
• Headline: Enzyme Found to Avert Tooth Decay in Animals. Impact: The enzyme discovery that prevented tooth decay in animals led to a rush of scientists attempting to market it as the next miracle product for humans. Too bad they didn't account for the fact that humans still prefer candy over dental health. Fact: Turns out, the real miracle of dentistry is convincing people to floss. This enzyme is just a sidekick in the epic battle against cavities.
• Headline: SATO HINTS CURB ON POLARIS SUBS; Premier Indicates He Would Forbid Visits by U.S. Craft With Nuclear Weapons SATO HINTS CURB ON POLARIS SUBS. Impact: Sato's hints at curbing nuclear subs led to an international game of chicken that has lasted decades, with nations pretending to play nice while secretly stockpiling snacks for the inevitable fallout shelter party. Never underestimate the power of snacks in diplomacy!. Fact: A nuclear-free Japan may sound peaceful, but it also meant that all the best sushi places were sadly left alone during tense negotiations.