JANUARY 12, 1968

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yugoslav Girl Survives with Artificial Heart Pump. Impact: This event led to a surge in the popularity of artificial hearts, inspiring a generation of inventors who thought they could also create a heart that would make you fall in love. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Fun fact: Dr. DeBakey once said that creating artificial hearts is much like dating – you have to find the right fit or it just won’t work out..
• Headline: AID Agency Spending Cut Initiated. Impact: This decision to cut spending abroad likely caused a ripple effect that led to a global shortage of goodwill, making it much easier for people to argue about foreign aid at dinner parties.. Fact: Did you know that saving money usually means less help for those in need? It's like taking candy from a baby but pretending you're doing it for their health..
• Headline: Moscow Trial Seeks Harsh Sentences for Dissidents. Impact: The harsh sentences demanded in this trial contributed to the global awareness of political repression, ultimately leading to the 'dissident chic' movement, where people wore protest gear as the latest fashion statement.. Fact: It's ironic how demanding prison sentences can sometimes lead to more people rallying for freedom than actual criminals. Who knew oppression could be a marketing strategy?.
• Headline: REAGAN APPOINTS A DELEGATE PANEL; Members Loyal to Him Will Select Convention Staff. Impact: This move further solidified the notion that loyalty in politics is more valuable than competence – a trend that continues to echo through every political party's playbook.. Fact: Did you know that political panels are like high school cliques? It's all about who you know, not what you can actually do. Welcome to democracy!.
• Headline: VIRUS LINK SEEN IN MONONUCLEOSIS; Scientists Identify Probable Cause of 'Kissing Disease'. Impact: Identifying the virus behind mononucleosis led to an unexpected boom in anti-kissing campaigns, which ironically increased the number of awkward handshakes and elbow bumps at parties.. Fact: Fun fact: Mononucleosis is often called the 'kissing disease,' which is a great way to explain why some people never get kissed—it's just a public health strategy!.
• Headline: Romney Asks Housing Law. Impact: Romney's push for housing law sparked a legacy of endless debates about zoning laws that still baffle local councils to this day. It's like watching paint dry, but with more bureaucracy.. Fact: Did you know that housing laws are often so convoluted that they make the tax code look like a children's book? Good luck finding a place to live!.
• Headline: 36 IN HOUSE URGE NIXON TO DECLARE. Impact: This urging of Nixon to declare his candidacy probably set off a chain reaction of political maneuvering that led to the phrase 'politics as usual' being coined – because nothing ever really changes.. Fact: Fun fact: Politicians declaring candidacies is just like a game of musical chairs, except when the music stops, everyone’s still standing and waving their hands..
• Headline: ALLIED SHIPS CUT ENEMY SUPPLIES; Sinking of 1,400 Craft Off Vietnam in '67 by Naval Patrol Is Reported ALLIED SHIPS CUT ENEMY'S SUPPLIES. Impact: The sinking of enemy supply ships not only impacted the Vietnam War but also inspired a generation of naval officers to take up fishing as a hobby, thinking they could replicate the success.. Fact: Did you know that the real lesson from naval warfare is that sinking ships can lead to more than just victory? It can also lead to some very uncomfortable beach days!.