DECEMBER 30, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dustin Hoffman Struggles with Fame's Burden. Impact: Dustin Hoffman’s unemployment benefits led him to contemplate the meaning of life, sparking a generation of actors to also live off benefits. This eventually inspired a sitcom about struggling actors, which was watched by the future president, leading to a bizarre presidential speech involving a lot of confused references to 'The Graduate.'. Fact: Did you know that living on unemployment benefits is actually a trendy life choice for aspiring artists? It's like a rite of passage, only with more ramen noodles..
• Headline: Court Ruling on 3rd Ave El Demolition Costs. Impact: The court ruling about the sun and demolition led to a massive spike in property disputes, eventually resulting in a national movement for 'Sun Rights.' This quirky movement saw individuals demanding compensation for sun exposure, leading to a bizarre series of trials that would make even the best legal dramas cringe.. Fact: Did you know that the sun isn't free? Better pay up before it starts charging rent!.
• Headline: Justice Served in Rights Killings Case. Impact: The sentencing of these men for rights killings sent shockwaves through activist groups. This led to an awkwardly large number of 'We Care' bumper stickers and a dramatic increase in candlelight vigils, which collectively did nothing to change the actual laws.. Fact: It's a fun fact that candlelight vigils have never actually brought anyone back from the dead, but they do provide great photo opportunities..
• Headline: WALLACE IS OVER TOP FOR BALLOT ON COAST. Impact: Wallace's struggle to get on the ballot paved the way for future candidates to realize that simply getting people to register is a lot easier than convincing them to actually vote for you. This led to a series of embarrassing campaign slogans that would haunt political history.. Fact: Did you know that 'getting on the ballot' is basically the political equivalent of trying to get into a nightclub? Just because you're on the list doesn't mean anyone wants to see you!.
• Headline: KEARING RESUMES ATTACK ON LINDSAY. Impact: Kearing’s attacks on Lindsay set off a chain reaction of political mudslinging that transformed the landscape of New York politics. This ultimately led to the invention of the political attack ad, which has since become a staple in campaigns and reality TV shows alike.. Fact: Did you know that political attack ads are just modern-day versions of high school gossip? 'Did you hear what Kearing said about Lindsay? So scandalous!'.
• Headline: STATE COURT SAYS SALES TAX COVERS NATIONAL BANKS; Albany Ruling Asserts That a High Court Landmark Decision Is Obsolete. Impact: The ruling that sales tax covers national banks sparked a financial chain reaction leading to banks developing more creative ways to avoid taxes. This eventually resulted in a national holiday called 'Tax Evasion Day,' celebrated by accountants everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that tax evasion is technically illegal, but with all the loopholes, it's basically the adult version of a game of hide-and-seek?.
• Headline: Muscat Enterprise Faces Another Suit; MUSCAT VENTURE FACES A NEW SUIT. Impact: Muscat Enterprise's legal troubles led to an influx of lawsuits in corporate America, sparking a trend where companies would hire lawyers instead of accountants. This ultimately resulted in the creation of a new board game: 'Monopoly: Corporate Lawsuits Edition.'. Fact: Did you know that lawsuits are like a game of chess? Only no one wins, and everyone ends up with a huge bill!.
• Headline: NORTHERN TROOPS KILL 67 MARINES IN BITTER CLASHES; Two Faces of the War in Vietnam: A Chaplain Comforts the Wounded and a Marine Sniper Takes Aim. Impact: The tragic clash in Vietnam solidified the image of the war in the American consciousness. This led to a series of anti-war protests, which ironically were often held in places where people were trying to enjoy a peaceful picnic.. Fact: It's a heavy fact that many soldiers in Vietnam were drafted against their will, adding a tragic layer to the already complex fabric of war. The consequences of conflict often ripple through generations, reminding us of the cost of violence..