DECEMBER 18, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: East-West Direct Talks on Europe Proposed. Impact: If Z K Brezezinski had just sent a letter instead of proposing direct talks, Europe might have decided to just ignore each other and become a giant sandbox of misunderstandings. Instead, it led to actual diplomacy, which eventually inspired countless sitcoms about awkward family dinners.. Fact: Did you know that by the '70s, people were still arguing about whether Europe needed a security meeting or just a group therapy session? Spoiler alert: they chose both..
• Headline: Teen Arrested for Car Theft in Trumbull. Impact: This event probably sparked a trend of teenagers thinking they could outsmart the law, leading to a series of poorly planned heists that would later inspire a dozen low-budget teen movies.. Fact: Did you know that stealing phonograph equipment makes you about as relevant as a rotary phone in the 21st century? Good luck selling that on eBay, kids!.
• Headline: Auto Insurance Industry Under Federal Scrutiny. Impact: This moment was the beginning of a beautiful friendship between consumers and government regulators, leading to endless debates on insurance forms that would last for decades. Who knew paperwork could be so thrilling?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than auto insurance policies are the explanations given by the agents themselves? It's like trying to decipher a hieroglyphic written by a caffeinated cat..
• Headline: Panel on C.I.A. Subsidies Divided Over Alternatives; Backed by Representatives Panel on C.I.A. Subsidies Deeply Split. Impact: This split probably led to a renewed sense of paranoia among conspiracy theorists who now had even more fuel for their 'the government is out to get us' fire. Thanks for the chaos, panel!. Fact: Did you know that the C.I.A. could probably fund a blockbuster movie with all the secrets they keep? Plot twist: it’s about a divided panel that can’t agree on a script..
• Headline: Jordan Cancels Celebrations. Impact: King Hussein's decision to cancel celebrations is a poignant reminder that sometimes, joy takes a backseat to pressing geopolitical issues, potentially altering the course of regional diplomacy for years to come.. Fact: Did you know that cancelling celebrations can often lead to more serious discussions about peace? Just think of it as a dramatic pause in a very intense soap opera..
• Headline: LEVITT SUGGESTS 20% STATE SURTAX ON INCOME LEVY; Rises in Business, Liquor and Gasoline Taxes Also Urged by the Controller LEGISLATORS GET PLAN Across-Board Increase to Net $600-Million Opposed as Unfair to the Poor One Flat Rise Opposed Levitt Suggests 20% Income-Tax Surcharge and Other Levies Jan. 16 Deadline $5.5-Billion Budget Due Tax Credits Defended Sales Tax Ceiling Noted Gasoline and Liquor Taxes. Impact: Levitt's grand plan for taxes might have inspired future political candidates to think that the best way to win votes is to propose tax hikes—because nothing says 'I care' like making people pay more!. Fact: Did you know that proposing tax increases is basically the political equivalent of suggesting a diet during the holiday season? Good luck with that, Levitt!.
• Headline: U.S. PILOTS STRIKE ENEMY MIG BASES; Bridges and Railroads Near Hanoi Are Also Attacked-- Foe Downs 762d Plane U.S. Jet Lost Saturday U.S. PILOTS STRIKE ENEMY MIG BASES Bridges Are Bombed. Impact: This military action likely set off a chain reaction of retaliatory tactics that would echo throughout history, turning what could have been a simple game of air tag into a full-fledged aerial chess match.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more costly than losing a jet in combat is the paperwork that follows? It’s like filing your taxes, but with explosions..
• Headline: SEARCHERS FIND NO TRACE OF HOLT; AUSTRALIA MOURNS; Helicopters Used in the Search for the Prime Minister of Australia. Impact: The disappearance of Prime Minister Holt marked a significant moment in Australian history, leading to changes in leadership protocols and a heightened awareness of the importance of communication in governance.. Fact: Did you know that Holt's disappearance was so dramatic it could have been a plot twist in a Hollywood thriller? Spoiler: the sequel would be called 'Where's the Prime Minister?'.
• Headline: POLICE STUDYING EXPANSION NEEDS; Survey Is Based on Adding 5,000 Men to the Force POLICE STUDYING EXPANSION NEEDS To Be Ready in 2 Months Real Strength Declines 28,000 Force Projected. Impact: This decision likely led to a surge in police recruitment strategies that would eventually inspire countless buddy cop films, proving that sometimes, fiction really does come from real life.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing longer than a police recruitment drive is the list of qualifications? Seriously, I hope you have a PhD in foot chases!.