NOVEMBER 10, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.I.s Recall Bitter Battle Near Dakto. Impact: The tales of these weary G.I.s inspired a new subgenre of war movies, where the main character is always sad but determined, making sure that every audience member leaves with a sense of existential dread... and popcorn stuck in their teeth. Fact: The Dakto battle was a part of the Vietnam War, which, believe it or not, resulted in a reality TV show that was less about war and more about who can survive a tropical island with no WiFi.
• Headline: Kremlin Unveils Stunning Jewel Exhibit. Impact: The opening of this exhibit caused a global diamond craze, resulting in the rise of overly ambitious engagement rings that led to more broken engagements than ever. Who knew diamonds could break hearts too?. Fact: The Orlov diamond was originally stolen from an Indian temple. So, in a way, it’s the original 'fancy rock' with a shady past—much like your average celebrity marriage.
• Headline: 'Afrika Korps' Hard To Recruit in Israel. Impact: The challenges faced in casting led to a notorious film flop, which ironically made it much harder to find acting extras for WWII films. Who would’ve thought history would have such a bad sense of humor?. Fact: The Afrika Korps were actually quite effective during WWII, but it turns out they were less popular in Hollywood casting calls—who knew?.
• Headline: WILLE BIDS STATE END RATE CEILING; Proposes Abolishing the 6% Level for Home Lending to Those in New York SEEKS NEW AUTHORITY Says Borrower Would Pay More Rather Than Get No Loan Money at All. Impact: This proposal sent shockwaves through the housing market, leading to a never-ending cycle of overpriced homes and families living in cardboard boxes labeled 'luxury apartments.'. Fact: In New York, the phrase 'affordable housing' is often just a euphemism for 'we'll make you wish you lived in a tent instead.'.
• Headline: Retail Sales Show Dip of 2 Per Cent During October. Impact: This small dip led to panic buying in November, which is why you see people fighting over the last turkey on Thanksgiving. Thanks, October!. Fact: October is often considered the month when people realize they spent all their money on Halloween candy instead of saving for the holiday season. Oops!.
• Headline: Industry Plans to Raise Outlays 5% in 1968; Survey Finds Plant Growth May Not Top 1967 Pace. Impact: This forecast of industrial growth set the stage for the 1970s recession, proving once again that optimism in business is just a fancy word for 'let’s pretend everything is fine.'. Fact: Plant growth in industry is a lot like real plants: it thrives on neglect and a good dose of water, or in this case, funding—just don’t overwater it with expectations!.
• Headline: N.L.R.B. Orders TV Union To Stop Picketing a Store. Impact: This ruling led to a cascade of legal battles that resulted in the birth of the 'Couch Potato' union, dedicated to the rights of those who just want to watch TV in peace without picketers interrupting their binge-watching. Fact: The N.L.R.B. is basically the referee of the labor world, ensuring that no one fights too hard, because who needs actual labor rights when you can have a good TV show?.
• Headline: Senate Passes Bill to Give American Motors Tax Relief. Impact: This tax relief led to a mini-automobile boom, which in turn resulted in a surge of questionable car designs that could only be described as 'interesting.' Just what we needed, right?. Fact: American Motors was famous for its innovative designs—so innovative that they often looked like they were designed during a particularly bad acid trip.