NOVEMBER 7, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Retail Chains Report Strong October Sales Gains. Impact: These modest sales gains set off an endless cycle of retail therapy that led to the invention of shopping malls, where people now spend more time than they do in their own homes. Thanks, October!. Fact: If you stacked all the receipts from those sales on top of each other, you could reach the moon—if the moon were made of paper and not a giant rock in space..
• Headline: Moscow Showcases New Missiles in 1967. Impact: The display of missiles during the parade not only made for great television but also led to a series of increasingly elaborate military parades worldwide—because who doesn’t love a good show of force? It’s like a giant, dangerous fashion show where the models are armed.. Fact: These missiles were so impressive that they could have easily become the next big tourist attraction—'Come see the missiles! Just don’t stand too close, they might go off!'.
• Headline: Iowa Students Back G.I.'s. Impact: The support from these students helped fuel anti-war activism, resulting in a movement that eventually changed public sentiment and led to more coffee houses than you can shake a stick at. Who knew that a petition could brew so much rebellion?. Fact: Iowa students were so supportive that they even started a club called 'The Pro-G.I. Gang'—though they promptly disbanded when they realized it sounded like a bad 80s movie..
• Headline: Stewart Bids Court Weigh Legality of U.S. War Role; STEWART FAVORS TEST OF WAR ROLE. Impact: This legal challenge initiated debates that would ripple into future wars, turning courtroom dramas into a popular sub-genre of television. Who needs action movies when you can have legal briefs?. Fact: Justice Stewart’s dissenting opinion was so thorough that it could have been published as a bestselling novel. Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well for the protagonists..
• Headline: Military Depot Near Hanoi Bombed for the First Time; Air Force Jets Based in Thailand Attack Largest Storage Center in the North --Plane Downs 2 MIG Defenders DEPOT NEAR HANOI RAIDED FIRST TIME. Impact: This bombing marked a turning point in the Vietnam War, setting off a chain reaction of military engagements that could be likened to a game of dominoes—except these dominoes were armed and very much alive.. Fact: This raid was so significant that it could have been the plot of a blockbuster movie, but instead it just became another chapter in the tragic book of war..
• Headline: COURT ACTS TO BAR GARY VOTE FRAUD; Panel Enjoins Election Aides Conspiracy Is Charged. COURT ACTS TO BAR GARY VOTE FRAUD. Impact: This court ruling opened the floodgates for future debates about election integrity, which is essentially the gift that keeps on giving—like an unwanted fruitcake during the holidays.. Fact: Turns out, the conspiracy was more dramatic than a soap opera. Who knew that such chaos could stem from something as boring as voter lists?.
• Headline: GUARD WILL GET 12,000 MORE MEN; McNamara Acts to Bolster Forces for Riot Control Guard to Get 12,000 More Men in Move to Bolster Riot Control. Impact: The increase in National Guard forces for riot control eventually led to a nationwide trend of arming the police with more toys—uh, I mean tools—because nothing says 'peaceful protest' like a tank in your backyard.. Fact: This 12,000-man increase was so significant that it became a running joke among comedians—'What do you get when you cross a riot with a small army? A really bad weekend for everyone involved!'.
• Headline: SURVEYOR BEGINS JOURNEY TO MOON; Complex Countdown on for Flight Test of Apollo 4. Impact: This launch was the beginning of humanity’s love affair with the moon, which later led to moon-themed parties, merchandise, and even conspiracy theories about moon landings. Thanks a lot, Surveyor!. Fact: The countdown was so complex that even the most astute mathematicians were left scratching their heads. It's a wonder they didn’t accidentally launch a rocket to the grocery store instead..