NOVEMBER 1, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brown Critiques Lord Thomson's Publications. Impact: This dinner party brawl sparked an underground movement of dinner guests everywhere to start critiquing the host's choice of hors d'oeuvres. Fast forward a few decades, and now we have food critics who can ruin a restaurant's reputation with a single tweet. Thanks, Brown!. Fact: Lord Thomson probably thought he was just hosting a nice dinner, but little did he know he was about to become the unwitting star of a political soap opera. Dinner parties: where the real drama unfolds..
• Headline: Johnson's 1967 Congressional Push. Impact: Johnson's push for 20 key bills was so intense that it indirectly led to the creation of the phrase 'passing the buck' as Congressmen dodged responsibility like it was a game of dodgeball. The result? A generation of politicians who would rather take long lunches than govern.. Fact: The number 20 is significant here! It's the same number of times Congress has promised to finally fix that pothole on Main Street..
• Headline: Historic U.S. Economic Expansion Continues. Impact: The 80-month boom was like the economy's version of a middle-school growth spurt; everyone thought it would last forever, but really, it was just a prelude to the awkward phase of a recession. Spoiler: it didn't end well.. Fact: In 1939-45, the economy was booming due to World War II production. Today? We just have people buying avocado toast. Priorities!.
• Headline: Papal Message to Africa Asks For Halt in Racism and Strife; Pope Asks End of Racism and Strife in Africa. Impact: Pope Paul VI's message was so powerful that it sent shockwaves through the Vatican, resulting in a worldwide trend of popes trying to be more relatable. Who knew a papal message could make the Vatican seem cooler than your local coffee shop?. Fact: Pope Paul VI was known for his diplomacy and was actually the first pope to fly. So, if he could fly around the world to spread peace, you can definitely get out of bed for work..
• Headline: House Panel Curbs The Sales of Arms; HOUSE UNIT CURBS WEAPONS' SALES. Impact: The House Panel's decision to curb arms sales created a butterfly effect that led to a global game of 'who can outsmart the regulations?' resulting in a surge of black-market arms dealing that would make any spy movie feel like a documentary.. Fact: The irony of curbing arms sales is that it often leads to more arms sales on the black market. It's like trying to stop a toddler from eating cookies by hiding the cookie jar—they're just going to find the cookies elsewhere!.
• Headline: INDUSTRY TO DISCUSS CIGARETTE AD CURBS. Impact: The discussion about cigarette ad curbs opened the floodgates for a whole new generation of health campaigns that would eventually lead to the invention of the 'smoking is bad' meme. Who knows, maybe it even inspired the creation of the 'I can't believe it's not butter' commercials.. Fact: If the tobacco industry had spent as much time promoting healthy living as they did marketing cigarettes, we might all be sipping kale smoothies instead of trying to remember where we left our lighters..
• Headline: JACOB M. FRUCHTER. Impact: The mere mention of Jacob M. Fruchter in the headlines caused historians to feverishly search for any evidence of his greatness. Spoiler: they found nothing, and he became a cautionary tale for future namesakes.. Fact: Jacob M. Fruchter is a name that will go down in history for being... well, just a name. Some people are just destined to be footnotes..
• Headline: SHELLS HIT LAWN OF SAIGON PALACE DURING RECEPTION; 2,000 at Inaugural Party, Including Humphrey, Safe as 3 Rounds Fall Short 3 OUTSIDE ARE INJURED Vietcong Attack Over Wide Area as Thieu Becomes the Country's President Shells Strike Saigon Palace Lawn During Party. Impact: The Vietcong's attack during the inauguration party was such a buzzkill that it forever changed the way political events are planned. Now, every politician insists on a 'no shelling' clause in their contracts.. Fact: While everyone was safe inside the Saigon Palace, let's just say those 3 rounds missed their mark—but someone definitely got a new talking point for their campaign: 'Safer than a presidential party in Saigon!'.
• Headline: Dr. Samuel Streicher, 66, Dies; Ex-Head of Board of Examiners. Impact: Dr. Samuel Streicher's death marked the end of an era in exam boards, leading to the rise of online quizzes where you can barely spell your name and still pass. Thanks, Dr. Streicher, for paving the way for future generations of 'students.'. Fact: Dr. Streicher's passing reminds us all that no matter how important your position, the universe has a way of reminding you that nobody really remembers the head of the Board of Examiners... or their name..
• Headline: Ford Recalls All 1967 Mustangs And 298,000 Other Late Models; ALL '67 MUSTANGS RECALLED BY FORD. Impact: Ford's recall of all '67 Mustangs was so monumental that it inspired a generation of 'car guys' to obsessively check for recalls on their vehicles, leading to the creation of online forums dedicated to discussing the merits of steering wheel design. Truly riveting stuff!. Fact: You know your car has problems when it gets a recall notice more often than you get invited to parties. At least Mustangs have good company in the 'oops, we messed up' club!.