OCTOBER 22, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Internationalization of Corporations Proposal. Impact: Ball's grand idea of internationalizing corporations sparked a frenzy of corporate greed, leading to the eventual rise of the multinational conglomerate. Who knew one man's proposal could turn the world into a playground for corporate overlords?. Fact: Did you know that the CEO of Lehman Brothers was actually just trying to find a way to make 'world domination' sound more polite?.
• Headline: Ohio Sees Brief Oil Boom Amid Drilling Fears. Impact: The oil boom in Ohio led to a series of questionable drilling practices that would eventually create the phrase 'fracking'—because who doesn't love a good environmental disaster?. Fact: Protests against regulations are basically just the oil industry's way of asking, 'Can we poison your water supply a little faster?'.
• Headline: Resilience in the Life of Edith Sitwell. Impact: Edith Sitwell's memoir, while insightful, ultimately inspired a generation of rebellious writers to think that being eccentric was a personality trait rather than a cry for help.. Fact: Did you know that 'The Last Years of a Rebel' is actually what I call my attempts to finish a project the night before it’s due?.
• Headline: Radical Inventions. Impact: H. Kramer’s sculptures influenced generations, leading to modern art that often looks like a toddler's temper tantrum in clay.. Fact: Did you know that many sculptures are just peculiar-looking rocks that someone decided to charge admission for?.
• Headline: Tough Crystals 'Grown' in Strands; Tough Fibers Of Sapphire Now Grown. Impact: The USAF's sapphire fibers might have set off a chain reaction, creating a market for shiny things that served no real purpose other than to make people feel fancy.. Fact: Did you know that sapphire fibers are not just for jewelry? They're also great for those moments when you need to feel superior while drinking your overpriced coffee!.
• Headline: Cold Cash Enters a Hot War. Impact: The media's portrayal of E. German films and American POWs added fuel to the fire of Cold War tensions, proving that sometimes the news just makes everything worse.. Fact: Fun fact: Journalists are basically the only people who can create drama without being in a soap opera. Who needs reality TV?.
• Headline: 31 DETAINED IN SPAIN TO PREVENT PROTEST. Impact: Detaining workers to prevent protests only fueled more dissent, inevitably leading to more protests—because nothing says 'we care' like a government crackdown.. Fact: Did you know that in Spain, 'preventative detention' is just code for 'we're really bad at handling dissent'?.