OCTOBER 9, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: MBT-70 Tank Unveiling in Capital Today. Impact: The unveiling of the 'deadliest armored vehicle' led to a global obsession with military technology, influencing everything from sci-fi movies to the design of your average suburban dad's barbecue grill. Who knew tanks could lead to better grilling techniques?. Fact: The MBT-70 was so advanced that it almost had WiFi. Just imagine a tank streaming Netflix while waiting for orders..
• Headline: Britain's Controversial Economic Expansion. Impact: The accusation of 'backdoor nationalization' ultimately sparked a series of government interventions that made every British citizen wonder if they were unwittingly part of a Nationalized Monopoly game. Spoiler: they were.. Fact: Labor leaders were so good at backdoor dealings that they could probably moonlight as locksmiths..
• Headline: NO ROOM IN MOSCOW DURING ANNIVERSARY. Impact: The government’s decision to restrict visitors during the anniversary inadvertently boosted the local black-market hotel industry, proving that when there's a will, there's a way—even if it's in a sketchy alley.. Fact: Moscow's lack of accommodations meant that even the Revolution itself had to RSVP to events. Talk about a political party!.
• Headline: Cambridge Welcomes a Freshman: Prince Charles; PRINCE CHARLES ENTERS COLLEGE. Impact: Prince Charles entering college inspired future royals to take a more 'down-to-earth' approach, leading to a bizarre trend of monarchs attending community college classes. We now have a crown prince majoring in basket weaving.. Fact: Prince Charles was so nervous about college that he considered disguising himself as a commoner. Spoiler: he didn't pass the disguise test..
• Headline: Group of Officers Said to Be Plotting A Coup in Portugal; Group of Portuguese Officers Reported to Be Plotting Coup. Impact: The coup plot in Portugal resulted in a game of political musical chairs that destabilized the government for decades, proving that when officers plot, they might just be trying to secure a better parking spot.. Fact: The officers planning the coup were less 'military masterminds' and more 'frustrated office workers' plotting a lunch break revolution..
• Headline: NIGERIAN REBELS CLAIM A VICTORY; Report 100 Killed at Calabar Fate of Enugu in Doubt. Impact: The Nigerian rebels' victory contributed to a series of conflicts that would inspire countless action films. If Hollywood had a penny for every war inspired by a real conflict, they’d have enough to fund the next ten superhero movies.. Fact: The rebels claimed victory so dramatically that they probably should have hired a publicist. 'Victory' doesn’t usually come with a press release!.
• Headline: EDUCATION HOPES FOUND EXCESSIVE; Conference Told World Not Able to Meet School Needs. Impact: The excessive education hopes led to the creation of endless educational programs that still promise to change the world but often leave students wondering if they should have just stuck to YouTube tutorials.. Fact: Dr. Schramm's proposal for demonstration farms was so ambitious that it was later adopted as a reality show concept. 'Farming for the Future' never made it past pilot season..
• Headline: GREECE ASKED AID OF FOE OF REGIME; Andreas Papandreou's View of Economy Sought in Jail. Impact: Andreas Papandreou's economic consultations from jail set a precedent for future politicians to seek advice from less-than-ideal sources, leading to the rise of the 'What Would a Convicted Felon Do?' movement in economics.. Fact: Papandreou's views were so sought after that his jail cell had more visitors than some universities. Talk about higher education!.
• Headline: Economic Gauges Show Surge Near In Private Sector. Impact: The surge in the private sector was like a shot of espresso for the economy, leading to the creation of countless startups, many of which no one can remember the names of—like a bad high school band.. Fact: The NY Fed Reserve Bank could probably get a second job as fortune tellers, given how they seemed to predict economic trends better than most 'experts.'.