JULY 21, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Logistic Ship Design Selected for Defense. Impact: The selection of this design led to a series of 'innovative' military logistics that eventually inspired the creation of the first intergalactic delivery service, proving that even in space, nobody really knows how to get their packages on time.. Fact: The first logistic ships were designed to transport supplies, but they ended up being used for everything from pizza deliveries to top-secret military operations. Talk about versatility!.
• Headline: Mormac and BBN Collaboration on Study Units. Impact: The formation of this study unit sparked an unforeseen collaboration that eventually led to the invention of Wi-Fi—yes, it all started with a bunch of nerds looking to analyze data instead of talking to people.. Fact: Mormac and BBN have contributed more to technology than most influencers on social media. Just saying!.
• Headline: National Dairy Ordered To Halt Pricing Practice. Impact: This order triggered a dairy revolution where consumers became hyper-aware of pricing discrepancies, leading to the rise of the 'organic' milk industry. The cows probably thought they’d hit the jackpot.. Fact: Kraft Foods’ pricing practices were so convoluted that they could probably teach a masterclass on how to confuse consumers. Lesson one: just charge what you feel like..
• Headline: Air Pollution Study Joined By Standard Oil of Indiana. Impact: Standard Oil's involvement in the study led to a series of corporate-funded research projects that ultimately resulted in 'cleaner' oil—because nothing says 'commitment to the environment' like a multi-billion dollar oil company pretending to care.. Fact: The irony of oil companies studying air pollution is like a fox guarding the henhouse. 'Don't worry, we promise to take good care of the chickens!'.
• Headline: NEWS OF REALTY: A JERSEY HILTON; $5-Million Hotel Slated on Atlantic City Boardwalk. Impact: The construction of this hotel spurred a tourism boom that eventually led to Atlantic City becoming a gambling mecca, where fortunes were won and lost faster than you can say 'what happens in Vegas?'. Fact: The $5 million spent on this hotel could have fed a small country for a year, but hey, who needs food when you have luxury accommodations and overpriced cocktails?.
• Headline: Mayor Entertains Iceland President at Cloisters; 150 Listen to Harpist Under Apple Trees in Courtyard After Cocktail Hour. Impact: This gathering led to an unexpected diplomatic friendship that later resulted in the annual 'Harp and Apples Festival'—which, surprisingly, has nothing to do with either harps or apples.. Fact: Nothing says 'serious political discussions' quite like cocktails and a harpist. Because if you can't convince them with logic, just distract them with music!.