JULY 6, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: End of Aid Restrictions Proposed by Educators. Impact: This push for less federal aid led to the rise of local educational bureaucracies that, believe it or not, sometimes made decisions based on pizza Fridays rather than actual educational needs. Fast forward a few decades and now we have whole states arguing over the right to teach the history of pizza as a legitimate subject.. Fact: Did you know that the NEA's requests have been met with varying levels of enthusiasm since the dawn of time? Spoiler: It's usually a 'No'..
• Headline: B Martinez: Notorious Courthouse Raider Captured. Impact: The capture of B Martinez paved the way for countless movie villains, leading to a boom in Hollywood's 'most dangerous criminal' archetype. Who knew a courthouse raider would inspire a generation of actors to play 'the bad guy'?. Fact: B Martinez was so notorious that even his mugshot was considered a work of art. The 'Mugshot Museum' in his honor? Still a work in progress..
• Headline: Cairo Protests U.S. U.N. Vote on Israel. Impact: Branding the U.S. as the 'Chief Villain' led to a series of diplomatic mishaps that would eventually spawn a whole genre of 'bad U.S. foreign policy' memes. Who knew a wheat shipment could cause so much drama?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Chief Villain' is actually a title recognized by the International Society of Dramatic Nations. No, it’s not a real thing, but wouldn’t it be fun if it were?.
• Headline: Lower Age for Police Is Urged in Elizabeth. Impact: Lowering the police age from 21 to 18 inadvertently ushered in a new era of youthful police antics. Think of all the TikTok dance challenges that could have been avoided!. Fact: Did you know that the average age for joining the police force has been debated since the invention of the badge? Rumor has it a 12-year-old once applied, but they were turned down for 'lack of life experience'..
• Headline: LOCALITIES TO RUN NEW SCHOOL UNITS; Parents and Teachers Will Gain Voice on Policy in 3 Experimental Districts. Impact: By allowing localities to run school units, this initiative launched a thousand parent-teacher association meetings that could last until the sun explodes. Who knew education could be such a hotbed of political drama?. Fact: In those experimental districts, parents became so involved they began running for school board positions as if they were auditioning for a reality show. 'Real Housewives of the PTA', anyone?.
• Headline: Decision Delayed on use Of Anti-Defamation Title. Impact: The court's delay on the anti-defamation title opened the floodgates for legal debates that could last longer than a family road trip without bathroom breaks. Spoiler alert: the title is still debated.. Fact: In legal terms, 'delay' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's procrastinate until we're out of snacks.'.
• Headline: U.S. to Test Jet in Vietnam in Close-Air-Support Role. Impact: Testing jets in Vietnam became the blueprint for future military strategies, leading to an arms race that would eventually make 'Top Gun' a household name. Thank you, U.S. Air Force, for inspiring our future pilots and a million memes.. Fact: Did you know that jet testing has been around since the dinosaurs? Okay, maybe not that long, but it certainly feels like it when you’re stuck in traffic behind a military convoy..
• Headline: Lions Parade in Chicago. Impact: The Chicago Lions Parade not only celebrated the anniversary but also sparked a series of similar parades, leading to an annual tradition where everyone pretends they care about lions in the city. Because why not?. Fact: The Chicago Lions were the first to parade for their anniversary. They also claim to have invented the concept of 'parading around with style.'.