JUNE 15, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Crisis for Egyptian Jews in 1950s. Impact: The arrests led to a ripple effect that ultimately inspired a revolutionary underground movement, resulting in the creation of modern escape rooms where people pretend to be on the run from authorities. A little bit of historical irony never hurt anyone.. Fact: Did you know that if you imprison enough people, you can start a whole new trend in tourism? Welcome to the world of 'Escape from Cairo'!.
• Headline: Progress Report on Brooklyn Slums. Impact: As social workers in Brooklyn discuss progress, a time traveler sneezes in the 1800s, causing a butterfly to emerge with an alternate evolutionary history where all social workers wear capes and fly around solving problems. It's a superhero origin story waiting to happen!. Fact: Did you know that 'Brooklyn slums' is just a euphemism for 'the coolest place to live in 50 years'? You're welcome, hipsters..
• Headline: Rights Leaders Hold Unity Talks; Map Effort to Ease Tension in Cleveland. Impact: The secret meeting of civil rights leaders inadvertently inspired a future generation of influencers who would hold their meetings in trendy cafes instead of behind closed doors. Now, they just post selfies instead of solving problems.. Fact: Did you know that if you gather enough rights leaders in a room, you can create a hashtag that will trend for a solid week? #UnityGoals.
• Headline: MOROCCAN PARTY DENOUNCING JEWS; Many Stay Behind Locked Doors During Attacks. Impact: The denunciation of Jews in Morocco sparked a series of unfortunate events that led to the world's first 'locked-door' policy for safety, making it the precursor to today's social media block feature.. Fact: Did you know that locking yourself in your house can be a great way to avoid awkward encounters? Just ask anyone who has ever had to talk to a neighbor..
• Headline: L.I.R.R. AND 3 UNIONS REACH SETTLEMENTS. Impact: The L.I.R.R. union settlements set a precedent that would lead to the phenomenon of commuting workers forming unions that meet in coffee shops to complain about their jobs instead of actually doing them.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'wages on par' is code for 'we're still underpaid but at least we’re not starving'? Cheers to progress!.
• Headline: War Brings Problems for '48 Palestine Refugees. Impact: The plight of '48 Palestine refugees inadvertently led to the creation of the world's first humanitarian crisis bingo game. Each square represents a different crisis, making it a real crowd-pleaser at dinner parties.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'refugee' has been used so much it’s practically a brand? Coming soon: 'Refugee Chic' clothing line..
• Headline: Appalachian Funds Approved. Impact: The Appalachian funds approval resulted in a newfound appreciation for rural living, which later inspired millennials to buy tiny homes, thus creating a booming market for overpriced wood and recycled materials.. Fact: Did you know that if you throw $3.8 million at anything, it’ll likely become a trend? Just ask the Appalachian hipsters!.
• Headline: No Gain at U.S.-Chinese Talk. Impact: The lack of gains at U.S.-Chinese talks led to decades of misunderstandings that eventually gave rise to internet memes about 'just talking it out,' which ironically became the main means of communication for millennials.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'no gain' is actually the most popular gym motivation quote among politicians? It’s all about the effort, right?.
• Headline: GUARANTEED INCOME ASKED FORPOOR HERE. Impact: The proposal for a guaranteed income for the poor turned into a political hot potato that eventually led to the development of the 'Everyone Gets a Check' reality show, which was a thrilling disaster.. Fact: Did you know that guaranteed income proposals are like the new avocado toast? Everyone's talking about it, but few can afford it!.