MAY 28, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ali's Fight for Freedom and Identity. Impact: Ali's bold declaration sparked a global movement for freedom of expression, leading to everything from the rise of hipster culture to awkward family dinners where everyone suddenly felt empowered to voice their true selves. Fact: Did you know that Muhammad Ali once refused to fight in the Vietnam War because he believed in his right to protest? He might have been the first person to make a stand while also dodging bullets—figuratively, of course.
• Headline: Caroline Kennedy Christens USS John F. Kennedy. Impact: This event not only honored JFK but also unknowingly set off a trend of aircraft carriers being named after presidents, leading to a future where every ship is named after someone who once held office, no matter how questionable their decisions. Fact: Did you know that christening a ship is supposed to bring good luck? Let’s hope that luck extends to all those who have to serve on the USS JFK!.
• Headline: T.V.A. Employes Get Raises. Impact: This raise triggered a wave of 'employe entitlement' that would eventually evolve into the modern-day phenomenon of people expecting raises for just showing up—hello, participation trophies!. Fact: Did you know that the Tennessee Valley Authority was created during the Great Depression? So, a raise in those times must have felt like winning the lottery for these employees!.
• Headline: Custom Brokers Elect Hult. Impact: Hult's election marked the beginning of a series of 'who cares' moments in the world of customs brokerage, leading future generations to question why we don’t just open everything up and let chaos reign. Fact: Did you know that customs brokers are basically the gatekeepers of imports and exports? They hold the keys to the candy store, but nobody really cares about their opinions—sorry, Hult!.
• Headline: General Tire Closes Unit. Impact: The closure of this unit led to an unexpected boom in the used tire market, where aspiring artists began creating tire sculptures that would later be featured in hipster galleries across the country. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'tire fire' can mean both a literal burning pile of tires and a metaphor for a disastrous situation? Coincidentally, they both can happen due to poor management.
• Headline: AIR ROUTE TREATY WITH ITALY ENDING; Alitalia Restates Its Case for More Runs in U.S. Treaty Called Outmoded Los Angeles Route Sought Equal Opportunity the Aim. Impact: The treaty's demise paved the way for a future where travelers would have to endure the joy of layovers and connecting flights that make you question your life choices—all thanks to outdated treaties. Fact: Did you know that treaties like this often read like bad romance novels? Lots of promises, but in the end, everyone’s just left with a bitter taste in their mouths.
• Headline: Reader's Report. Impact: The inception of this report led to a never-ending cycle of people feeling compelled to share their opinions, resulting in the birth of online reviews where everyone believes they're a critic. Thanks, Reader's Report!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Reader's Report' could just as easily be applied to the reviews of that questionable pizza place you visited last week? Spoiler: they probably weren’t that great.
• Headline: Edmund Baxter, Ex-Aide Of Western Electric, 67. Impact: Baxter's passing reminds us that behind every great company, there’s an unsung hero whose contributions are often overshadowed by the glitz and glam of corporate fame. And yet, here we are, still Googling 'who is that again?'. Fact: Did you know that Western Electric played a huge role in the development of the telephone? So, without people like Baxter, we might still be shouting our phone calls across the street!.