MAY 22, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: February Truce Between Vietnam and Allies. Impact: The February truce led to an unexpected increase in coffee sales worldwide, as soldiers took a breather to sip lattes instead of sipping gunpowder. This caffeine-fueled peace paved the way for future 'peace talks' to be held in coffee shops instead of conference rooms.. Fact: The only thing more fragile than a cease-fire is a cup of coffee in an unsteady hand..
• Headline: JAPAN SETS STUDY OF U.S. ARMY'S AID; Subsidies for Research Stir Criticism in Parliament 28 Recipients Listed. Impact: Japan's study of U.S. Army aid turned into a decades-long critique of military funding, ultimately leading to the creation of the world's most awkward dinner conversation topics: military subsidies!. Fact: Subsidies are just like that friend who keeps borrowing money but never pays it back—awkward and uncomfortable..
• Headline: INVASION OF NORTH BY U.S. RULED OUT; Wheeler Says Top Officers in War Have Strict Orders 'Big Push' Seen Possible. Impact: The 'no invasion' policy led to a never-ending series of 'what if' scenarios that inspired countless conspiracy theories, including a popular one about UFOs intervening to keep peace in Vietnam. Thanks, aliens!. Fact: Gen Wheeler's strict orders were so effective, they inspired a new board game called 'Don't Cross That River!' Fun for the whole family!.
• Headline: Official'67 City Directory, Now $2, Put on Sale Today. Impact: The sale of the official city directory for $2 led to a surge in underground directory flipping, with hustlers making a pretty penny on the black market of outdated information. Who knew directories could be so thrilling?. Fact: For just $2, you could know where your neighbors lived—assuming you actually wanted to talk to them..
• Headline: Intellectuals to Johnson: War's the Rub; JOHNSON ADVISED BY INTELLECTUALS Constant Interchange Puzzled by Protests. Impact: Johnson's lunch with intellectuals led to a secret society known as 'The Intellectuals Who Can't Stop Protesting.' Their first rule? Always question everything, especially the lunch menu.. Fact: Truly luminous intellectuals are just regular people with better lighting and a penchant for complicated arguments..
• Headline: A FOOT OINTMENT IS BOON TO TROOPS; Widespread Ailment Curbed in Vietnam by New Salve Rate of 'Casualties'. Impact: The new foot ointment became a cult favorite among soldiers, leading to a bizarre trend in foot care that eventually inspired a line of beauty products for civilians. Who knew war could lead to smoother soles?. Fact: Warm water immersion foot is not a trendy spa treatment, despite how it sounds..
• Headline: 17 Hurt as Protesters and Police Clash in New Hong Kong Unrest. Impact: The clash in Hong Kong ignited a global movement for protest rights, leading to the creation of 'Clash of the Protests' as a popular video game franchise. Who knew chaos could be so entertaining?. Fact: Violence in protests is like reality television—everyone’s watching, but no one really wants to be involved..
• Headline: Hurok to Bring Over Bolshoi Companies, 535 Strong, in 1968; Hurok to Bring Bolshoi Troupes Here Idea Began in '23 27 Railroad Cars Full Hurok's Prima Extravaganza. Impact: Hurok's Bolshoi engagement sparked an enduring love affair between Americans and Russian ballet. This would eventually lead to the invention of the 'ballet-flavored' vodka. Because why not?. Fact: The Bolshoi Ballet is like a fine wine—expensive, requires an understanding of the arts, and can leave you feeling a bit dizzy..