MAY 17, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Venezuela's Accusation of Cuban Intervention. Impact: This little meeting in Caracas set off a chain reaction of diplomatic finger-pointing that eventually led to an entire generation of teenagers in the 90s believing that Cuba was practically the villain in every American movie. Thanks, Venezuela!. Fact: Did you know that asking for help from the O.A.S. is like calling your mom when you’ve made a bad decision? Spoiler: She’s going to make you feel worse about it..
• Headline: 600 Madrid Students Stage a Sit-in. Impact: This sit-in was basically the first version of a 'tweet storm,' leading to a rise in student activism that would influence protests worldwide. Who knew a few students could create such a ruckus? Someone get them their own reality show!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'sit-in' was originally meant for older folks who simply couldn’t get up? Now it's all about protests and making a statement, not just comfy chairs..
• Headline: A CLUE ON BORMANN IN GUATEMALA FAILS. Impact: The failed clue on Bormann in Guatemala turned into a cautionary tale for detectives everywhere, reminding them that sometimes, the fingerprints just don’t match. Who knew genealogy could be such a letdown?. Fact: Did you know that comparing fingerprints is just like dating? Sometimes you think you found a match, and then you realize, ‘Oh wait, this is a total mismatch!’.
• Headline: Lenox Hill Group Elects. Impact: J. Pierrepont being elected president of the Lenox Hill Group was like a small-town election that made zero waves in the grand scheme of history. But hey, at least someone got a title out of it!. Fact: Did you know that when someone gets elected president of a group that nobody has heard of, it’s basically like being the captain of a losing team? Everyone’s polite, but nobody cares..
• Headline: JOINT VENTURE SET ON PHOSPHORIC ACID. Impact: This joint venture on phosphoric acid was the beginning of a chemical romance that would influence fertilizer production in EEC for decades. Who knew acid would become the hero?. Fact: Did you know phosphoric acid is just a fancy way of saying, ‘We’re making plants grow faster so we can feed more people’? It’s like plant steroids, but without the side effects… probably..
• Headline: Charter Backed in Pennsylvania; Philadelphia Renominates Tate. Impact: Tate’s overwhelming victory in Pennsylvania was like a political tsunami that made Hemphill rethink his life choices. Fast forward, and it’s the same old political game with new players.. Fact: Did you know that political nominations often feel like a high school popularity contest? If only they had prom crowns for the winners!.