MAY 13, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: South Vietnamese General Honored with Silver Star. Impact: This Silver Star award encouraged a chain reaction of questionable military honors that would later inspire the phrase, 'If you can dodge a bullet, you can earn a medal.'. Fact: Did you know that the Silver Star is the third highest military decoration for valor? Because nothing says 'bravery' quite like getting a shiny trinket while the world goes up in flames..
• Headline: Larkin Jewelry Heist Shocks Community. Impact: The theft of $24,040 in jewelry sparked a global trend in hotel security, leading to the invention of the 'Do Not Disturb' sign. It also made jewelers reconsider their life choices.. Fact: Did you know that in the grand scheme of things, $24,040 in 1968 dollars is roughly equivalent to $200,000 today? So, at least the thieves had expensive tastes!.
• Headline: Lindsay's Insights on 1968 Election. Impact: This rather mundane political speech helped cement the idea that students would rather hear about presidential candidates than study for exams, leading to decades of procrastination.. Fact: Did you know that in Syracuse, the most popular student activity is not actually studying? Shocking, I know..
• Headline: Saudis Report 3 Air Raids On Border Town by Egypt. Impact: The air raids by Egypt on Saudi Arabia contributed to a long-standing distrust that would eventually lead to the invention of 'air raid drills' in schools, because who doesn't love a little drama during recess?. Fact: Did you know that in the Middle Eastern air raid saga, it’s often the civilians who end up with the best stories? And by stories, I mean survival tales..
• Headline: AIR SAFETY STEPS FOR RISING TRAFFIC ORDERED BY F.A.A.; 'Mandatory Actions' Aimed at Reducing Work Load of Airport Controllers AIR SAFETY STEPS ORDERED BY F.A.A.. Impact: The FAA’s safety measures led to a series of long lines at airports, setting the stage for future generations to master the art of waiting in discomfort while pretending to check their phones.. Fact: Did you know that the FAA’s idea of 'mandatory actions' sounds suspiciously like how we all feel about our daily responsibilities? Just saying..
• Headline: SPACE PHOTOS SHOW MOON'S SOUTH POLE. Impact: The discovery of the moon's south pole was a pivotal moment that inspired countless sci-fi movies, ultimately leading to a generation of kids believing they would one day vacation on the moon.. Fact: Did you know that the moon is actually a giant rock that we romanticize? Talk about setting unrealistic expectations for future vacation spots!.
• Headline: State Ad Campaign To Promote Lottery; State Plans to Promote Lottery With $1.5-Million Ad Campaign. Impact: The $1.5-million ad campaign for the lottery created a culture of hope and despair, leading to the birth of many a 'lotto loser' support group in basements across the state.. Fact: Did you know that the odds of winning the lottery are significantly lower than the odds of running into your ex at the grocery store? Just a fun fact for your next existential crisis..
• Headline: Rights Bill Hearings Put Off. Impact: Delaying the civil rights bill hearings sent a message that progress could be put on hold, inspiring countless future politicians to think, 'Why rush when you can just wait and watch?'. Fact: Did you know that postponing civil rights discussions is basically a historical pastime for some politicians? Because who needs equality today when you can procrastinate for another month?.
• Headline: U.S. PLANES BLAST 2 MILITARY AREAS NEAR HANOI AGAIN; Barracks 4 Miles From City Raided 2d Time in 2 Days Supply Depot Also Hit ENEMY SHELLS 2 POSTS Uses Big Russian Rockets Americans Return Fire Across Buffer Zone 2 AREAS BLASTED NEAR HANOI AGAIN. Impact: The U.S. airstrikes near Hanoi fueled a never-ending spiral of military engagement that would eventually be used as a case study in 'how to create chaos while claiming to restore order.'. Fact: Did you know that during this time, the phrase 'flying under the radar' became particularly ironic? Because, you know, planes are rather hard to miss..
• Headline: Financial Executives Elect. Impact: D.F. Crowley being elected president of financial executives inspired a new era of corporate governance, where the only thing thicker than the boardroom walls was the paperwork.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of finance, being elected president is often less about skill and more about who can smile the longest during boring meetings?.