MARCH 22, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: City Rent Control Extended Amid Discontent. Impact: If only the city had decided to end rent control entirely, perhaps the Avengers would have formed sooner. Imagine a world where Iron Man had to negotiate with landlords instead of aliens!. Fact: Rent control: the only law that makes landlords feel like they're living in the Hunger Games..
• Headline: Queen Juliana's Cabinet Formation Challenge. Impact: The struggle to form a cabinet in the Netherlands led to a secret society of ex-defense ministers, who now meet annually to discuss how to avoid responsibility.. Fact: If only forming a government was as easy as forming a Netflix account. No complicated questions or background checks required!.
• Headline: Leader of Singapore Says Asians May Want U.S. in Area. Impact: Lee Kuan Yew's statements about US military presence set off a chain reaction that eventually led to countless Hollywood movies depicting Southeast Asian conflicts. Thanks for the clichés, Lee!. Fact: Fun fact: the 'permanent US military presence' is just code for 'we really love our fast food chains.'.
• Headline: Johnson Trip Cheers Islanders Under U.S. Rule. Impact: Johnson's visit to Guam inspired a new tourism campaign that resulted in an influx of island lovers seeking political debates instead of beaches. Who knew democracy was the new sunblock?. Fact: Guam's tourism slogan was briefly 'Come for the beaches, stay for the bureaucracy.'.
• Headline: Army in Sierra Leone Detaining Newly Inducted Prime Minister; LEADER IS SEIZED IN SIERRA LEONE. Impact: The seizure of the Prime Minister in Sierra Leone led to a worldwide shortage of popcorn as people tuned in for the drama, resulting in an unexpected rise in corn prices.. Fact: In a twist of fate, popcorn became the official snack of political upheaval. Who knew drama could be so buttery?.
• Headline: Mildenberger Stops Walker In 8th Round of London Fight. Impact: Mildenberger's victory over Walker launched a series of epic sports rivalries that would be reenacted in countless children's playgrounds, causing an entire generation to believe they could be champions too.. Fact: Mildenberger's TKO was so impressive, it inspired a new line of action figures: 'Fighter Who Never Even Tried.'.
• Headline: Briton Warns Euratom Nations Delay May Doom Nuclear Pact. Impact: Lord Chalfont's warning about nuclear delays created a butterfly effect that eventually led to the invention of the 'nuclear-themed' board game. Nothing says family fun like global annihilation!. Fact: Nuclear nonproliferation treaties are the adult version of 'I promise to share my toys.'.