MARCH 14, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: NYS Assembly Passes Night Skiing Ban. Impact: The banning of night skiing led to an unexpected boom in daytime skiing, which in turn caused a rise in sunburns among skiers. Who knew UV rays could be so fashionable?. Fact: Did you know that night skiing is just skiing with extra drama? It's like the soap opera of winter sports!.
• Headline: Swiss Diplomat Aids Stalin's Daughter. Impact: This diplomat's assignment caused a ripple where Swiss chocolates became a diplomatic tool, leading to a global chocolate shortage in 1975. Who knew diplomacy could be so sweet?. Fact: Fun fact: Stalin's daughter had more visitors than a trendy coffee shop, but none of them could handle her family drama!.
• Headline: The Future of Gaullism in Question. Impact: The uncertainty surrounding Gaullism after de Gaulle led to a series of awkward political parties, eventually culminating in the invention of the 'French Exit.'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more uncertain than the future of Gaullism was the number of baguettes consumed in France that year?.
• Headline: Antipoverty Hearing: Barbs Fly in a Capital Caucus Room, Stinging Senators and Witnesses Alike. Impact: The heated exchanges during the antipoverty hearing sparked a national debate, leading to the invention of the ‘Senatorial Snark’ award for the most sarcastic comments made during hearings.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'barbs' in politics often refers to the sharpness of their suits rather than their comments?.
• Headline: Canada Cuts Foreign Aid, Raises Defense Spending. Impact: Canada's decision to cut foreign aid while raising defense spending led to an unintentional increase in Canadian goose sightings as they were left to fend for themselves, sparking a nationwide 'Goosewatch' movement.. Fact: Did you know that Canada spends more on defense than it does on maple syrup production? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: VAST CATALOGUE OF BOOKS SLATED; Library of Congress Gives Contract to British Printer. Impact: The vast catalogue of books led to the first-ever bookworm convention, where attendees realized they were actually just introverts with a love for paper.. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked all the books in the Library of Congress, you could reach the moon? Just kidding, but you'd definitely get a great view!.
• Headline: GENERAL RECIEVES VIETNAM COMMAND. Impact: General Palmer's command in Vietnam led to a series of military strategies that could be mistaken for a game of chess, where the pawns had a higher casualty rate.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing generals like more than commanding troops is making sure they have a great set of medals for their uniforms?.
• Headline: INDIA TAKES OVER STRIFE-TORN STATE; Assumes Rule of Rajasthan --Legislature Suspended. Impact: India's takeover of Rajasthan led to a surge in the popularity of 'suspension' as a political strategy, inspiring future leaders to take a break when things got tough.. Fact: Did you know that 'Presidential rule' is just a fancy term for a government taking an extended coffee break?.
• Headline: Thant Will Make a Tour Of 5 Asian Nations in April. Impact: Thant’s tour of Asia led to an unexpected rise in tourism, with locals mistaking him for a rock star. Suddenly, everyone wanted to know where he would stop for lunch.. Fact: Did you know that UN secretaries general are often mistaken for celebrities? They just lack the paparazzi!.
• Headline: LAGOS IS WARNED BY EAST NIGERIA; Region Says It Will Secede if Attacked or Blockaded. Impact: Ojukwu's threat to secede resulted in more dramatic political speeches than ever before, leading to the establishment of 'Theatrical Politics 101' courses at universities.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing louder than a secession threat is a politician trying to explain it to their constituents?.