FEBRUARY 24, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jersey Mayor Charged with Oil Bribery. Impact: This mayor's corruption scandal set off a chain reaction that led to a nationwide distrust in local governments. In a bizarre twist, it inspired a popular reality TV series where mayors compete to see who can hide their bribes better. Spoiler alert: they all lose.. Fact: Did you know that $110,000 in bribes could fund a small library, or at least buy an impressive number of doughnuts for political meetings?.
• Headline: Senate Hearing on Apollo Fire Report. Impact: The Apollo fire report delayed the moon landing by several months, causing conspiracy theorists to claim that NASA was actually just trying to buy time to figure out how to fake the moon landing more convincingly.. Fact: Fun fact: The Apollo fire was so serious that it made everyone rethink the idea of sending human beings into space without a solid fire escape plan. Who would have thought?.
• Headline: Britain and Poland Sign Pact. Impact: This pact was the diplomatic equivalent of a high five, leading to better relations and eventually resulting in the establishment of a thriving British-Pole café chain that serves the finest pierogi and tea.. Fact: Did you know that the signing of this pact was less about politics and more about who could bring the best snacks to the negotiation table? Spoiler: it was Poland..
• Headline: City Bar Advocates Tight Restrictions On Trial Publicity; CITY BAR PROPOSES STIFF TRIAL CURBS. Impact: This proposal sparked an underground movement among journalists, who began to invent increasingly elaborate ways to get around these restrictions, resulting in sensationalized headlines that still haunt tabloids today.. Fact: Isn't it charming how limiting trial publicity just makes journalists more creative? It’s like telling cats not to knock things off tables; they will find a way..
• Headline: U.S. GIRL CAPTURES 2D SKI GOLD MEDAL. Impact: This young athlete's victory led to an unexpected surge in popularity for skiing among suburban kids, who promptly decided that falling down a snowy hill was a worthy substitute for actual exercise.. Fact: Did you know that winning a gold medal in skiing is basically just an elite ticket to endless ski parties? Good luck keeping your balance after that!.
• Headline: Atom Rocket Reactor Passes a Major Test. Impact: This test ignited a race in the 70s to create the first 'nuclear-powered' car, which, while never fully realized, contributed to a lot of very bad ideas, like the concept of a nuclear-powered lawnmower.. Fact: Did you know that if you can generate 75,000-lb thrust, you can launch a small satellite? Or just your neighbor's car into orbit if they park in your space again?.