JANUARY 11, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Johnson Proposes Missile Pact with USSR. Impact: Johnson's call for a missile pact may have temporarily stalled the arms race, but it also sparked a secret society of rogue scientists who met in basements to invent increasingly ridiculous sci-fi weaponry that would scare us all in the 21st century.. Fact: The only thing more elusive than peace in politics is a bipartisan agreement on anything—especially missiles..
• Headline: Mood of Mistrust in Washington Reported. Impact: Reston's observation of 'mistrust' in Washington led to an unprecedented rise in conspiracy theories, paving the way for future generations to believe that lizard people are controlling the government from their underground lairs.. Fact: In Washington, 'mistrust' is just a fancy word for 'I can't believe you said that in public.'.
• Headline: Economist Is Appointed Douglass College Dean. Impact: Dr. M.S. Foster's appointment as dean initiated a new era of academic leadership—one where economists could be found leading art classes and history lectures, confusing students for decades.. Fact: Economists: the only people who can make a financial decision seem as complicated as assembling IKEA furniture..
• Headline: Message's Secrecy Guarded Carefully By Johnson's Staff. Impact: The White House's extreme secrecy around Johnson's message led to a culture of paranoia that would eventually inspire reality TV shows about life inside the White House, where every whisper could be a scandal.. Fact: Secrecy in politics is like a bad soap opera: full of twists, and you can never trust the characters!.
• Headline: U.S. PUTS OFF RAID ON RAILROAD YARD IN THE HANOI AREA; Temporary Step Apparently Tied to Controversy Over Previous Air Attacks. Impact: The postponement of the raid on the Hanoi railroad yard caused a ripple effect, leading to future military strategists to play a game of 'who can delay the inevitable' which eventually contributed to the rise of procrastination as a national pastime.. Fact: Military tactics are often about timing—unless you're the one who forgot to set your alarm..
• Headline: MADDOX ELECTED AND TAKES OATH; Democrat Chosen Governor by Georgia Legislature. Impact: Maddox's election as governor marked a turning point in Georgia politics, paving the way for future governors to discover that saying 'I promise' is often followed by the phrase 'just kidding!'. Fact: Being elected governor is like winning the lottery—everyone wants to do it, but few realize the tax implications..
• Headline: Johnson Hints at Steps To End U.S. Blackouts. Impact: Johnson's hints at ending U.S. blackouts spurred a nationwide obsession with electricity efficiency, leading to the invention of 'smart' light bulbs that are still smarter than most people.. Fact: Blackouts: the moment you realize how much you depend on Wi-Fi and your phone charger..