DECEMBER 25, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shipping Trade Restrictions Eased for Cuba. Impact: Reducing the blacklist of vessels for trade with Cuba sparked an unforeseen surge in international shipping puns. Now, every time someone mentions a ship, there's an obligatory joke about how they’re 'not on the blacklist' – a trend that continues to haunt us.. Fact: The original blacklist was just a list of ships that had really bad karaoke nights in Havana..
• Headline: MINOR INCIDENTS MAR THE FIRST DAY OF VIETNAM TRUCE; Allied Officers Don't Regard Dozen or So Engagements as Violations by Enemy. Impact: The Vietnam truce incidents set the stage for future peace discussions that were so contentious that they could be mistaken for a family Thanksgiving dinner. And here we are, decades later, still wondering if anyone ever really learned how to talk to each other.. Fact: The most serious incident involved a soldier reading a Christmas card, proving once and for all that holiday cheer can indeed be a double-edged sword..
• Headline: Amish Go to British Honduras, Fleeing Arkansas 'Materialism'. Impact: The Amish fleeing materialism for British Honduras sparked a comedic chain reaction where every hipster in the U.S. started buying tiny homes and pretending like they invented the concept. Who knew escaping consumerism would lead to such ironic consumerism?. Fact: The Amish community is actually quite fond of technology, just as long as it doesn’t involve flashy advertising or the need to charge their phones..
• Headline: Two Loans Are Announced At $24-Million for Mexico. Impact: These loans for Mexico were the beginning of a trend where countries began treating financial aid like it's Monopoly money. Fast forward a few years, and suddenly everyone's playing a global game of 'Who's Got the Biggest Debt?'. Fact: The Inter-American Development Bank once considered giving loans in the form of tacos, but unfortunately, that idea was deemed too spicy..
• Headline: T.V.A. Will Raze First Steam Plant In Power System. Impact: Razing the first steam plant marked a shift towards cleaner energy. Little did they know, this would eventually lead to solar panels being touted as the new black, and we all know how that trend goes.. Fact: The steam plant had a secret life as a hipster coffee shop before it was demolished. Apparently, the steam was too 'authentic' for the local clientele..
• Headline: SURINAM DISCORD; Political Life Is Based on Racial Numbers Game. Impact: The political discord in Surinam led to an ongoing cycle of racial tensions that taught future leaders that throwing a party is not a substitute for addressing real issues. It’s like trying to fix a leaky roof with a party hat.. Fact: Surinam’s government once tried to unify the factions by offering free samples of Dutch chocolate. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work..
• Headline: Brazilian President's Press Bill Draws Widespread Opposition. Impact: The widespread opposition to the Brazilian President's press bill set a precedent for future governments. Now, every time a new bill is proposed, everyone checks the fine print for hidden clauses that could turn them into a national meme.. Fact: The bill was so unpopular that even the paper it was printed on started to feel embarrassed..