NOVEMBER 11, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Modern Fiction's Rich Landscape. Impact: The rise of modern fiction led to the eventual rise of countless book clubs and the proliferation of hipsters with thick glasses and ironic shirts discussing 'real' literature over overpriced lattes. Thanks, S. Marcus!. Fact: The phrase 'I read it for the articles' was actually coined by a literature major trying to impress someone at a coffee shop..
• Headline: Balczo Dominates Pentathlon Championships. Impact: Balczo’s victory led to a surge in Hungarian pride, which ultimately inspired a series of questionable fashion choices at the 2020 Olympic opening ceremony. Who knew a pentathlon could be so influential?. Fact: The pentathlon includes five events, but if you ask the general public, they can probably only name one: 'That one where they run a lot.'.
• Headline: Johnson Backs 2 Promotions. Impact: Johnson’s backing of promotions led to a military culture where ‘climbing the ranks’ became synonymous with ‘who can throw the best office party.’. Fact: The military’s version of team-building exercises often includes trust falls, but with actual grenades. Safety first, right?.
• Headline: BRITAIN'S ENTRY FACING HURDLES; Food Prices and Sterling's Role Are Market Bars. Impact: The hurdles faced by Britain in joining the market led to endless negotiations, which would eventually inspire a generation of diplomats to hone their skills in the art of avoiding eye contact.. Fact: The term 'market barriers' was originally coined by a frustrated shopper who couldn't find parking at the mall..
• Headline: CO-OP TRUCKERS WIN DEFENSE BIDS; Carriers Protest the Move as Unfair to Competition. Impact: The defense bids for co-op truckers inadvertently sparked a nationwide debate on whether farmers should also be allowed to run for president—because why not?. Fact: Farmers are known to have some of the best campaign slogans; 'Vote for me, I can make your corn more corny!' is a classic..
• Headline: EMOTION IS SHOWN BY MAO AT RALLY; He Seems to Brush Away Tears as Red Guards Pass. Impact: Mao's emotional display at the rally convinced future leaders that showing feelings was a strategic move; thus began the trend of politicians taking 'emotional selfies' during crisis events.. Fact: Mao's tears were later analyzed and found to contain the essence of all political drama ever. Who knew he was so deep?.
• Headline: HUMPHREY CHIDES LATINS ON COUPS; Says Military Regimes Fail to Serve Alliance Goals. Impact: Humphrey's admonishment of military regimes sparked a series of military coups that were more about the aesthetics of power than actual governance—welcome to the world of political theater!. Fact: Political theater often involves less drama on stage and more in the backroom deals, where the real acting happens..
• Headline: B.B.C. Is Planning 'Pop' Entertainment To Fill 'Pirate' Gap. Impact: BBC's pivot to pop entertainment filled the void left by pirate stations, leading to a cultural renaissance that somehow convinced people that reality TV was a valid form of entertainment. Thanks, pirate radio!. Fact: Pirate radio stations were essentially the original influencers, except their product was music, not overpriced skincare..
• Headline: Mrs. Kennedy to Aid Appeal. Impact: Mrs. Kennedy's restoration efforts sparked a trend in celebrity-led charity work, which has since evolved into a lucrative side gig for many, resulting in a rise in 'philanthropists' who are actually just very good at selfies.. Fact: The phrase 'charity begins at home' was later amended to 'charity begins at the nearest red carpet event.'.